Monkeys Fist

He thinks we don’t like him because of a couple of comments ? Bless.

I’m parked up near Morpeth and I just heard a massive “ Beeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww” floating up from the south.

Taxi-queued YP

Aye- work/life balance in this country is horrendously skewed now.

Just nick a wheelchair, get on the lash from now until Monday, then start the antibiotics. Happy Easter

I think this, hope they’re not wrong tbh. Brexit really has fucked everything, hasn’t it?

Nah, just slung it in the sink whilst nature took its course.

Best way, you find some absolute gems that way. If you’re heading through the Verdon on the way, Moustiers Saint Marie is a lovely little place right at the mouth of the gorges.

👍 No then Have you got a destination in mind or is it a hit and hope trip?

It’ll come as no surprise that this is obviously aimed at the Red Wall cunts ( you know, the “traditional” racist, homophobic, ignorant fucks), who switched sides and voted Johnson in. Personally, I’d be tempted to say, “ You’ve shit in your beds, now choke on it”, but Starmer either thinks or has been told that it’s worth getting them back. Given the free rein the Tories have had pissing about with redrawing constituencies in their favour, it wouldn’t surprise me that Labour feel the need to put some effort in to winning back at least some of these seats. Or maybe they just want to see the likes of Gullis fucked off out of it on election night?

Yes. Joelinton will also resolve the invasion of Ukraine and Jacob Murphy is formulating a global response to the climate crisis, in between coaching the squad on prime shithousing techniques.

If they looked at Eddie’s eyes, they’d sharp realise. He’s not here to play second fiddle to anyone.

Ffs. Is there nowt going anywhere else? ( I was going to say jump before the drop, but of course, you’ll get redundancy if you stay). The Tories have absolutely, royally, fucked every person and everything that doesn’t bring them a direct, financial benefit.

Is a move back to Newcastle feasible?

I’d like to see a return to the values of the 1960s- free love, potent drugs, and assassinating the shit out troublesome political twats.

No. I’m not a savage, ffs.

Is that near Aix ?

Nice meth lab!

Are you allowed back in to Lidl yet?

Hope all goes well mate. I had a lump taken off my knee a few years ago (2013)which resulted in me posting this on a popular (at the time) social media app ” So, I go to bed extremely early this evening, feeling the onset of Man Flu, at about 7:30. Woken half an hour later by the combination of hearing my son (3 at the time)in the bathroom doing a superb rendition of The Exorcist vomit scene, and my stomach letting me know that I'm seconds away from recreating Willy Wonka's chocolate waterfall. I dash to bathroom, where I am barred from entry by my wife , holding our son over the pan as he pukes for England. Minutes pass, sweat breaks out on my forehead. My A-hole is doing a better job than King Canute, but I'm now formulating emergency plans ( the bath). Luckily son dries up, I move in… and realise that I will have to sit sideways on the Thunderbox as my knee ( recently operated on), will not bend sufficiently to allow me to sit normally. This also means I have to cup the Man Apples to avoid crushing them twixt thigh and newly narrow bog seat. So there I am, sideways on, leg stuck out straight, holding my knackers as the world falls out of my bottom. “ Hope this brightens your day

I feel a bit shaken (not stirred) here lads- what happened to the campariaderie of the old fashioned days? ( How do you like them appletizers?)

What’s the crack at your place- are things still sketchy?

Alreet man! And Aperol my effort in to that one too.