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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. How’s it any worse than crowning Chaz ?
  2. We should fuck Charles III off, put Wykiki on the Throne, and rename the country the United Cuntdom.
  3. Come on, no one throws free food away up here - plus, bricks are much more efficient
  4. Spuds’ director of football has just resigned Fabio Paratici resigns as Tottenham managing director following ban from football https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/65346572
  5. We have an outdoor… An outdoor sofa, We dig up rubbish, and think it’s gold We’re paddle boarding And voting Corbyn I didn’t have a next line so I used this instead. Bhun Bhun ! Cack and shite army!
  6. BBC saying two people have serious injuries- maybe it was sun-dried tomatoes still in the jar?
  7. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/hastings-police-eastbourne-lidl-b2324215.html?amp
  8. He was from a weird family. His brother had epilepsy and dressed as a cowboy , called himself Tex Fitz. His mother used to go to the local park and hang off the goalposts every day- other than that she was a lovely woman, Annette. ( I’ve translated these from the Ancient Sanskrit they were first written in).
  9. I knew a lad who kept 100 rabbits up his arse. Called him Warren.
  10. I asked him ages ago and it’s his Dad, pwopa nawty wideboy frum Seven Sisters Road. Also, his only other option was Leeds, so fair enough
  11. Gaffer is a Yorkshire Spuds fan, I’ve had his life this week. To the tune of “ I’m Getting Married in the Morning”… ” You’re getting dry-raped at the weekend”. He accepts his fate.
  12. Aye, for a week or so, until they give him a new job.
  13. Did you just assume my Adam Johnson?
  14. Quick reminder to buy in your Cured Pork joints and Cooking Lager for this Sunday coming.…
  15. Robin Robin doesn’t speak Russian, so I’ve found a translated version just for him.
  16. “Slaven was granted a testimonial game by Middlesbrough against Hereford United at the Riverside Stadium in 1996, but was embarrassed by a low turnout of 3,537”
  17. Do we know for sure he’s not actually Morrisey?
  18. I really hope @McFaul has notifications switched on now that he’s back.
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