Monkeys Fist

Still trying to find the offside for the first goal.

I reckon we should give the NUW lasses a shot in the second half.

We’ve scored roughly every 4 minutes. At this rate, I expect it to be 20-0. xG my hoop.

Have you bought him a … Hang on, that’s 5-0!!!! so, buy the poor cunt a pint

4-0 We’re going for double figures before half time here.

Still only 3-0 here.

He missed

We haven’t scored for 3 fucking minutes. HOWE OUT.

3 fucking nil

Joooooooooooooelinton

Fucking pick that out

I think he’s predicted a home win without realising.

Still makes me hoot

I got a call from the police saying the wife had been in a crash and was in hospital. I asked how she was and he said “ I’m afraid she’s critical” I said, “ Aye, tell me about it mate”

IN HERE IN HERE IN HERE

“ Congratulate our agent in Bilbao please, that tweet has registered on the Richter scale in Pennywell” ” Erm, we don’t have an agent in Bilbao” ” Lolz! Laters”

If the ball comes off a passing Red Deer stag in the lead up to a goal, is it still offside, if he’s not involved in the play?

Aye, we’ve all been there. Devastatingly accurate tbf.

What if a massive flood washed a forest in to your back doors, then it took alight? Switch that notification on, you never know when you might need to officially shit the bed.

It isn’t hard to do, Marra.