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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Sei sicuro che non sia un'anatra?
  2. Aims for the hole- stabs it in her eye.
  3. Aye, but at least our sponsor doesn’t sound like some Porn Olympics.
  4. ASM’s sex tape; Pump Pump Pu… “Sacre Bleu! Oh La La! Je suis blesse! Hon hon hon!”
  5. Considering the majority are owned by right wingers, “will they fuck” is my best guess. Meanwhile , stop those brown people from coming here.
  6. Transcribed for non twitts. “Secondo Federico Chiesa della Juventus, per fare un'autentica carbonara, tutto ciò che serve è pasta, uova, pecorino, e guanciale. Dai quanto sopra a mamma e lascia che faccia le sue cose.”
  7. Is he the scrap merchant on Tatooine, or have I got the wrong trilogy?
  8. If it does turn out that he’s a rapist, he won’t be anywhere near the first for them. But at least he’s not being put up for reselection as a candidate, unlike this piece of work. https://blackislemedia.com/2023/05/22/met-police-seek-extension-to-tory-mp-andrew-rosindells-bail-in-rape-investigation/?amp
  9. Or, you can read it here. https://www.shieldsgazette.com/sport/football/newcastle-united/newcastle-uniteds-extraordinary-approach-to-loans-revealed-by-feyenoord-4209335 TMFADNR- We have a Loans department headed by Shola and Ramage who visit prospective loan clubs in advance to see if they’re up to scratch, then accompany the player at the beginning of the loan period until they’re settled. I’m quite surprised this is seen as a new approach tbh, I’d have thought it would be standard, but it seems not.
  10. Having read The Email, the affairs are pretty standard Tory scum stuff, but shagging a 16yr old who’s too drunk to stand is straight-up rape, isn’t it?
  11. We asked 100 legendary Rock n Roll guitarists, “Would you rather see a pissed off Ms. Phillipson or…” Our survey said Also, Mercer- he’s the kind of bloke who’d ruin Christmas because his kids beat him at Trivial Pursuit.
  12. This is the kind of petty revenge I can totally get behind.
  13. Last time I looked, all of Yorkshire was south.
  14. Mrs. F. bought a Steelbox set of Band of Brothers at a fundraiser Bamp sale at her work. Settling in for a few episodes- too notch stuff.
  15. Top Chicken Nonce punnery there- intentional or not
  16. “Collabatrice” Giddup!
  17. Well, we now know that neither are on our actual list.
  18. How do you pronounce Raich btw? Is it “ Rake” “Raytch” ” Better than Sheeayrer” No idea tbh?
  19. Longsands is coming up turd-free at the moment. Maybe CT got caught short after a snack stop at Cullercoats, and didn’t have a shitkit in the Bunter Mobile?
  20. Nice one- I’m dropping him off at 6:15 at the Surf Shack, pick up at 9, so that gives plenty of time for a patty fest.
  21. Tbf, he’s 13, so he’d probably come out smelling better than usual, but thanks for the heads up.
  22. Are these at Longsands? Fist Jnr has a surfing session next week and I might nip in for a birthday burger whilst he’s giving it Big Wednesday.
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