Monkeys Fist

I genuinely don’t think they’re meant to be mackem zombies- they’re short on finger count and way over on tooth count.

None of them- that lass is at leayst 17.

TLDR;

Aye sorry to hear this Robin. I think we’ve got a while until our little shithound departs , but I know the Mrs. will be a gibbering wreck when the time comes. I’m going to get her a tortoise afterwards so she won’t have to worry about saying goodbye.

Jane Goodall, Mrs. Gorillas in the Mist. 91

Tripps stood watching there, thinking ” What in the fuck is he doing?””

At least they don’t drool and talk like a mo… … oh, sorry, they do.

WAFFLE!

Go on Gordon!

That fucker from the office next door - his bag is literally full of them.

Nicked

Mine told me not to be sick in the sink as there were dishes in there. Whilst I was about to lose consciousness

Aww, man, look at his ickle boots

I actually made it to the end of a Fish post, and the above is the answer to all this nonsense,tbh.

Make it an even £2.47p and I’ll consider it.

If Eddie is anything like me, and I’m suure there are some parallels ( ) then when he planted his little fuckers he’ll have made sure he dug deep enough to avoid any reemergence problems.

It’s fucking horrible mind- about ten years back, we were all round my sister-in-laws for a family get together, which included a succulent chinese meal! I had a spare rib, proper meaty one, no lumps of gristle, chewed the buggery out of it, and as I swallowed it my body decided that was a perfect time to start a bout of hiccups. I remember the instant realisation that I couldn’t breathe, or speak. I went in to the kitchen and stood over the sink, having grabbed the Mrs. on the way past and pointed frantically at my throat and down my mouth. I took the daft bint way too long to realise I wasn’t playing Charades or something, then eventually she asked “ Are you choking?” I remember being stood over the sink, feeling my legs go numb and my vision started tunnelling, then, WHHAAAAAMMM! Sis-in-law , who is 4ft dead and about 10 kilos wet through, is also an A&E nurse. She’d Heimliched me- nowt, then apparently took a running punch to my upper back, which shifted it. I reckon my throat was blocked for no more than a minute, minute and a half maybe, but I was absolutely drained afterwards. Really struggled to finish my pint and chow mein.

She’s definitely a swallower- Spitty Goo 100%.

Bruno looks absolutely off his lips

Keith’s Mam… Keith’s Dad…

That got a proper chuckle from me

I proper Man-Love Murphy, like.