Monkeys Fist

It’s going to a great 2nd half when we put these 10 goals away…

Again, can you blame him?

Can you blame him though?

Does the pledge invite him in to our home at any point?

Murphy first-half hat trick. You heard it here first

He usually does it when you’ve nipped for a piss.

2 goals guaranteed then- 1 from Isak and 1 from Wilson when he’s brought on.

Tbf, if I had to go there every week I’d probably end up twatting someone.

Is it Peter Withe?

But then you’ll miss out on their magnificent flag display … assuming they actually manage to get fire-retardant ones this time

I hope they get to the play-offs. If they miss out on them, that’s it- another season of them pretending they love being shit, etc etc. If they get to the play-offs, it’ll be fucking delicious watching them breaking their scabby necks trying, and failing, to be “more classy” than us in the capital. We all know they’ll shit in the fountains, leave the place an absolute tip, and then get their usual bumming at the actual game. Even if they somehow mange to win it, and get promoted, a whole summer of watching their collective delusions becoming ever-more outlandish, to then spend the season getting royally humped and flushed back down to where they belong will be quality. As we romp through the league and Europe.

They’re right about one thing. You’d never chose to be one.

I had a look through his channel’s video list. * It’s his thing. Occasionally brings his little mate with him. Utterly unhinged * for clarity, I scrolled down the list- didn’t watch any- fuck that noise.

Miss Fist has asked me if I’ll do her hair Rasta style before her first festival this summer. I’m dreading it.

Don’t go trying to shift blame, Mr. Pre-Match Ritual breaker.

This pleases me greatly

My mam had a stroke yesterday. She’s got really soft hands.