Monkeys Fist

Just got back from an afternoon stroll around the old town of Gouda. Anyone want to take a guess at the most common theme in the tourist tat shops?

I didn’t dislike him- as Gloomy says, he seems like a nice bloke, who genuinely loved being here. As a player he was frustrating to watch as many times, if not more, as he was exciting to watch. Good luck to him.

We went, and now we’re in Amsterdam. Great place though. 👍

I might be after a few miles.

Did consider the “semi-recumbent” mind.

I was offered a basket. I could already feel my balls retracting, and when the basket came out I thought they might pop out of my backside in some kind of gender prolapse. They’re pretty decent bikes for hires, tbh, dead easy to ride and comfortable as a bike can be.

20km on these streamlined bitches I’m contemplating a full shave-down to pick up a few hundredths of a second on our eta.

He’s from Battle Hill ffs. Also, what the fuck is that photo meant to be? This is fast becoming Mindy Project 2 for Le Souris Chinois.

Going full Dutch and cycling in to The Hague today, might bump on to the Royal cloggies. Apparently the Queen likes a bit of rough.

Its twue …

Has the Baconator got another book coming out or something? Why would anyone with any interest in football give a gibbering fuck what this waste of skin has to say? Just fucking retire and fuck off to Portugal or wherever.

Lili von Schtüpp, what a gal!

I’m ashamed to realise I missed this off, and Casino, which are basically the same film. To be honest, there’s loads I could swap in and out of the list, depending on mood.

Aye, can we get Farage to resign his citizenship and fuck off to Germany?

Honestly man, if the Revolution ever happens, the Royals can relax for a day or three because I’ll be busy stringing these cunts up.

Aye, my last league game was the Liverpool game immediately after they sacked Hughton- and I only went to that as I’d promised a lad I knew who was a Scouse gimp that I’d go with him. Took Fist Jnr. to a cup game under Rafa, Preston I think, we won 6-0 or something. Ashley wasn’t just responsible for fucking our club, he had a big hand in fucking a lot of people’s connection with the game, mine included. I’ll probably try to get to a game with the nipper next season, but I can’t see me ever trying for a ST again.

Shut up, scab nonce.

I’m going to go out in a limb here and say it was probably self-inflicted.

Nice to see them incorporating Deano’s shrubberies formations next to the lasses pissers.

New favourite beer. “ What do you want? “ “ Pair of Bollekes please! “

So, Fist Jnr. and I cycled in to Leiden this morning, and stopped at a cafe for drink. “ Dad, what’s that place over there, Brownies & Downies?” ” Looks like a cake shop, kiddo, maybe they’ve got special needs staff” ( said with tongue firmly in cheek, thinking “not even the Dutch would have such poor taste)” Brownies and Downies

I know ewerk’s dad and he also told me this.

George Alagiah, 67. Mrs. F. is gutted, she thought he was the epitome of decent journalism ( nowt to do with moisture levels), and I’d have to agree.

Mrs. F. tried to convince the Kinder that the Shields Ferry is travellling in style compared to flying. If you have a half decent sense of humour, she’s absolutely right tbh. “ International Buffet” - Pizza, Rinky Dinks, Gyros, Fish and Chips… 4 world renowned cuisines on one plate Breakfast actually put the offerings of some half-decent hotels I’ve stayed at to shame. Hilariously shite entertainment, as mentioned above, (and I also watched Guardians of the Galaxy 3 with Fist Jnr in one of the two on board cinema rooms), all made bearable by several very decent beers. That, vs waiting in “Ponteland” Airport surrounded by sweaty fucking mackems getting mullered before jumping on a glorified bus, only to be served deeply depressing “food”, if you’re lucky, whilst trying not to breathe in the rancid stench of the mackem sisterwife’s baby-hole. Tbf, she’s absolutely bang-on, there’s no comparison… …and you get to drive your own car off at the end instead of picking up some basic model, motorised wheelbarrow at the hire company that’s been twice round the world and to the moon and back. Did I mention the Dutch blart? It’s ridiculous- your most basic level, Gregg’s lass slinging pastries and pie, is top notch, bankable material

It depends on your needs tbh. If you’re going to Amsterdam on a wild one, it’s a good starter for 10. Get the bus/tram in to town from the port. If you’re wanting to drive once you get there, same. It’s not hugely obvious, but if you’re driving to southern Europe, France or Italy or Spain, it’s the most sensible option from up here- 7-8 hrs of shitty driving on British motorways to get to Dover, vs a night with Dutch Elvis and three hours drive to get you to Calais. As a trip to Holland just for shits and giggles, definitely get the boat- it’s like if Lidl was a travel agent- a 15 hr shite cruise but run by Viz.