Monkeys Fist

I look forward to hearing that fucking toucher that lives in his mam’s attic attempting to pronounce this poor fucker’s surname.

Let’s pretend for a moment that this lad is the new Zidane, and sets the Championship alight with his masterful skills and headbutts. Don’t they realise that within the blink of an eye, he’d be getting poached by their betters 10 mile up the road and he’d be away before they’ve even had time to light the kitchen roll?

Is Trippier tiny, or is Wilson a Unit?

Has anyone actually seen any of them explain what the “Model” is , other than vague references to it? Does it involve paying off the £10m loan to fix the lift? Non-stick coatings on the seats to clean the shite off easier? Selling their players to rivals ?

He’s the Byker Mongo from Blazing Saddles. If he got hit by an asteroid he’d barely blink

“ I’ll spend a tenner on a curry and lob it at their window- that’ll show the Maggy bastids!” All part of the long-term Model.…

MLFd YP

He used it to wipe the jizz off his hands.

Kinky bitch.

It’s mine and Mrs. Fist’s 25th Anniversary, so I’ll be nipping to the garage on the way home from work for some flowers and a bag of Maltesers.

Billy Stamper.

To Stoke too A quick vox pops on Fawcett Street…

As an ardent member of Team Sausage, I say bring it the fuck on, in French, German and Italian sausage varieties. 5-0. Every game.

PSG, Milan and Dortmund?

If you look up “ Shit Weasel” in the dictionary it’s definition is “ Miguel Delaney”.

Do they sail themselves from Australia? For £142 I want them to be more watertight than a Hungarian Granny three way.

But, that would harm their pals.

Meanwhile… https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-66645681

He’s like the Netto Ant McPartlin.

Length of foot, aye. But they’re stupidly wide, with a freakishly high instep, so I need to get 7 or 8s to get them on.

Is it the hump or the eyes? ( wait for it… )

That’s even worse than his haircut.

I think they spent their wad filming his two, maybe three, ( an eagles, panther and snake if I remember rightly). transformation scenes, and had nowt left for scripts, plot lines, etc. The reboot will see Steve Barnes, football manager and international man of mystery, solving crimes by transforming in to an elephant seal, a pig, and a sloth. I can see history repeating itself tbh.

I was fully expecting that to be in sunderland.

This has always been the problem for Labour- being leftist doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be some rabid radical, but getting the balance between proper leftist policies and appealing to all the members is near impossible, seemingly. We definitely need a root and branch shake up of the entire political system. Cameron got in on a 12 seat majority, and proceeded to fuck the entire country for decades to come through Brexit. Then, even though everyone could see it was an absolute shit show, there was no way to overturn it. The system is fucked, it’s not Starmer’s fault that it is, but he’s doing fuck all to make me think he’s the man to change it.