Monkeys Fist

Make sure she’s rehydrated before The Run.

I look forward to hearing that fucking toucher that lives in his mam’s attic attempting to pronounce this poor fucker’s surname.

Let’s pretend for a moment that this lad is the new Zidane, and sets the Championship alight with his masterful skills and headbutts. Don’t they realise that within the blink of an eye, he’d be getting poached by their betters 10 mile up the road and he’d be away before they’ve even had time to light the kitchen roll?

Is Trippier tiny, or is Wilson a Unit?

Has anyone actually seen any of them explain what the “Model” is , other than vague references to it? Does it involve paying off the £10m loan to fix the lift? Non-stick coatings on the seats to clean the shite off easier? Selling their players to rivals ?

He’s the Byker Mongo from Blazing Saddles. If he got hit by an asteroid he’d barely blink

“ I’ll spend a tenner on a curry and lob it at their window- that’ll show the Maggy bastids!” All part of the long-term Model.…

MLFd YP

He used it to wipe the jizz off his hands.

Kinky bitch.

It’s mine and Mrs. Fist’s 25th Anniversary, so I’ll be nipping to the garage on the way home from work for some flowers and a bag of Maltesers.

Billy Stamper.

To Stoke too A quick vox pops on Fawcett Street…

As an ardent member of Team Sausage, I say bring it the fuck on, in French, German and Italian sausage varieties. 5-0. Every game.

PSG, Milan and Dortmund?

If you look up “ Shit Weasel” in the dictionary it’s definition is “ Miguel Delaney”.

Do they sail themselves from Australia? For £142 I want them to be more watertight than a Hungarian Granny three way.

But, that would harm their pals.

Meanwhile… https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-66645681

He’s like the Netto Ant McPartlin.

Length of foot, aye. But they’re stupidly wide, with a freakishly high instep, so I need to get 7 or 8s to get them on.

Is it the hump or the eyes? ( wait for it… )

That’s even worse than his haircut.

I think they spent their wad filming his two, maybe three, ( an eagles, panther and snake if I remember rightly). transformation scenes, and had nowt left for scripts, plot lines, etc. The reboot will see Steve Barnes, football manager and international man of mystery, solving crimes by transforming in to an elephant seal, a pig, and a sloth. I can see history repeating itself tbh.

I was fully expecting that to be in sunderland.