Monkeys Fist

5-0. Botman hat trick.

Alreet Callum?

Me and the wife took a trip on the Orient Express. A porter came up to me on the platform and said “ Shall I carry your bag sir?” I said “ Nah, she can walk”

She’s Cissy and Ada.

When was the last time Newcastle City Council asked its residents to stop shitting in the street? I forget.

I wouldn’t say nothing…

Hook, line and … … stinker.

Wifey walks in the hairdressers in Ashington. “ What style do want pet?” ” Can I have it curled please?” ” Aye, I just gan erpen the winderr “

Proper lager-kite filling his top there.

Outstanding

Oh… you’ve done it now.

Imagine…

He thought he was buying Bilbao.

Blonde gets knocked off her bike by a bus. The paramedic arrives and as he’s checking her over he holds up his hand and says ” How many fingers have I got up?l Blonde “ Oh my God, I can’t feel any- I’m paralysed aren’t I?”

But, then he’d know how much of a cunt everyone thinks he is. Actually, win/win.

There there there, put your sheets in the wash.

I’d imagine off the back of a point at the San Siro, Mad Dog has a table booked at the local pizzeria and some filthy hookers for later with Eddie. Granted, we didn’t make the most of the very few chances we had. We got very lucky in the first half with AC’s profligacy in attack. But… they ran out of ideas and steam. If that game had gone on for 10 more minutes, there was only one side looking likely to win it. It was neither a satisfying nor particularly enjoyable but, we didn’t embarrass ourselves and we certainly have positives we can build on for the return leg. Not many teams will go there in their opening CL game and get a point.

I know I’m bald, but that’s uncalled for I think he does, I’m putting it down to overindulgence.

Nope First half wasn’t great but we looked the stronger side for most of the second to me. Reolace who?

I thought we looked the stronger side 2nd half. Not displeased at all with that result for our first CL game in decades. We’ve got nowt to fear bringing these back to SJP Their gaffer, Pop Guardiola, will be more pissed off than Edward after that.