Monkeys Fist

Still lives with his Mam?

Don't forget, Phil Collins on your i-pod!

No surprises, eh? Self defence my arse- he pulled the guys jumper over his head before he started swinging, Fucking Coward.

Here's one specially for you Accadacca, since you clearly live on another planet. Delivered in a way you might understand: 2 years ago Ashley came along, saying to NUFC Let Me Put My Love Into You. Nights in the Bigg Market were spent by the portly owner saying Have a Drink on Me to the adoring fans and other Riff Raff . What Do You Do For Money Honey, we asked? Turns out he sold knock down sportswear. Having an Overdose of optimism it was Love at First Feel for many of us. Soon, Fat Sam had Gone Shootin, and Keegan was Back in Black(&White).We were Spellbound. Our erstwhile owner was even spotted Breaking the Rules with a pint in the stands at Arsenal. Sadly our optimism was misplaced.In short order, Fat Mike had installed Little Dennis, our very own Problem Child, and sure enough, Keegan was soon to have his own Night of The Long Knives.Although we implored him Baby, Please Don't Go,begged him to Stick Around, he had little choice but to Ride On . (The saga of his Down Payment Blues still to be decided in the courts) .This was only the beginning of the Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap. Our journey along the Highway to Hell began gathering momentum with the appointment of JFK- Hells Bells, the cockney Live Wire! . We were turning from a Football Club into pure Show Business and the media began to Inject the Venom.Once loved by other fans, we became Sin City in the eyes of many. Any thoughts of Europe were swiftly Snowballed. The once popular Ashley was now a Soul Stripper, and fans were asking Gimme a Bullet for the Fat One. Following JFK’s laughable ‘nice little run’ , the untinkable became a reality- we could GO DOWN. We needed players with Big Balls, prepared to inject some HighVoltage into their game. Bottom end of the table isn’t a place for Beating Around the Bush, its Dog Eat Dog. England’s Michael Owen helped things enormously by making it plain to the club that You Aint Got A Hold On Me, which matched with his inability to Shoot to Thrill proved a Touch too Much. We discovered It’s A long To the Top, especially when you allow Villa to Walk All Over You in the last game of the season. So here we are, in the Champeenship, it Aint No Fun ( Waitin Round For a New Millionaire), all our dreams have been Shot Down In Flames. Cheers Mike- In comparison to where we are now, Hell Aint A Bad Place To Be. (with apologies to Messrs Scott, Young & Johnson for sullying their work with Ashley)

When love Breaks down - Prefab Sprout

Aye I saw the trailer. Weeping at the fact that no one has any reason to talk to him anymore basically. He was on GMTV just now too, making an absolute bellend of himself, telling the same story that he's told on every interview since Jackson died: "He was sitting on the sofa, and I said to him 'Michael.......Michael are you a lonely man?'. And he looked at me.....just stared at me for about 10 seconds, and then he said to me 'Uri Geller....I am a very lonely man.'" Sounds like the banter between the two of them was fucking belting. Glad I didn't see this. I would've been forced to gouge my eyes out( probably with a spoon!).

Did you actually see any games last season? Men of straw

Of those three, 2 were cleaners and one was Lee Ryder after another scoop.

If anyone does come up with the £100 million, a condition of sale should be that the Fat Twat has to spend a Saturday night in Blu Bambu..... On his own.

The self same men of straw who will fire us straight back up? "Nee Bother"

Duff and Jonas. aye nice one cheered me right up keep em coming Managers next please

The spoon bender is spilling his guts on ITV on Sunday. Didn't take long to cash in there mind Uri.

Given the midfield you list above, where are these balls for Carroll coming from? Harper? And who is going to orchestrate this magnificent turnaround? Shearer? No JFK? Ha ha ha Hughton and Calderwood? ffs

£50million taking the piss? He should bite their fuckin hands off. Another season like the last and the Fat Chav will be lucky to get 50p. He's had his fuckin pants down for the past 9 months, shitting on us from a great height. Stubborn and tough? So's constipation. He should take what's offered and gtf. He'll score for his precious £100 million when his personal loan is paid back anyway.

A nightmare? Aren't you the optimist who thinks we'll stroll back to the PL come what may?

Happy Birthday young 'un !

How did the comet affect the weather up there on Jupiter mate?

oooo must have missed that one, i stand corrected Hardly Parky's one-a-week claim mind you.... MF - I work for the lot who built it - it isn't too hard to find that info out. Stick Gherkin Main Contractor into Google and hey presto. Or you could have typed S-K-A-N-K-Y and saved me bothering my arse

Fiddy

He works for the one that doesn't know if the windows are falling out or not.

Mate of mine does the windows on the top section of the Gherkin Craig. Which company do you work for?

Vidals, looks stunning, but purely on practicallity- Foster gets my vote. Have to agree with Jimbo mind, does look like Bertie bassett vomit.

Dear God, HURRY THE FUCK UP! love M.Fist

Tis the same livestock(on the right) n'est pas?