Monkeys Fist

Whatever you do to the odious Twat, claim you thought he was going to hit you- plead self defence. Innocent!

Surely you must, on occasion, want more than just a 2 hour distraction from a movie? Which is when he borrows these Midget gangbang 23 OAP and gagging for it 2 (raiders of the hairy arse) big titted housewife next door from Jimbo.

Before my mother died, she was alive too! That can't be just coincidence.

where is it in town, I think my mate wants to try it. I will have to tell him about the apparent stink he gives off though to, and see if he still wants to after. It's on Piss Take Lane, just off Wind up st. Sorry mate, couldn't resist

Sorry, nostalgia fest Nimble, me Mam used to buy it but it was 'her' bread. Tried it once when she was out, rank!

It might be "Bernards Creperie", in town........

They have talking office furniture in Thailand?

Sounds like crepe to me.

I have a tie. Spooky

Shittest Tatoo candidate? WTF is it?

This. Have hods of lurve etc for the wee man, but time to move on a bit. Mind, Shearer/Keegan combo, whilst totally impractical and pie in the sky, would make me do a sex wee.

Is that the one directed by Duncan Jones/Zowie Bowie?

Phew! That's ok then, it must be 100% genuine. We can all relax and stop worrying

Watched "Who Do You Think You Are" last night with Kate Humble. Turns out she's a Geordie! Her Great Grandfather ran Hartley Pit at the time of the disaster.

Its called asset stripping isn't it ? Bingo !

Big Girls Blouse tbh Makes a right tit of himself at 00:35. Pissed myself.

Is that done in Ragtime stylee?

I'll believe it when the Sun is blocked by the Fat Cunt's arse as he waddles off down south for the last time.

Choccadooby!!

Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Der Ner Ner Ner Num Num Na Num Hamlet

I take your club and I raise you a Waggon Wheel. See you for a Texan. That old fashioned sweetshop.com (or whatever) was doing them a while back as they'd been re-issued for a limited period. Used to love them but I bet they're actually rank if you tried one now. Kia-ora is btw. Aye, gob full of chewy plastic, chocolaty slaver running out the side....