Monkeys Fist

but

My guess is they met when he was a trainee window licker. He squeegeed off a lump of seagull shit and there she was! A picture of lovliness in her Kappa trackys and fake gold, counting her benefits with her tit hanging out the bottom of her stripey jumper. A modern romance.

Parents-to-be Dawn Kelley and William Hickman were looking at the ultrasound scan of their unborn baby when they realised it looked like the late pop singer. Mr Hickman, 29, a window cleaner, said: “I showed my daughter Ami, who’s six, and she saw it straight away, so I thought 'well if she can see it too it’s not just me seeing things’.” Mother-of-six Miss Kelley, 34, went for her 20-week scan at Sunderland Royal as normal last month, but doctors could not see the foetus’s stomach or diaphragm. A few weeks later she was sent to Grindon Lane Walk in Centre for a closer look. The more powerful scanner there is normally used to examine internal organs so the images it produces much more detailed. Mr Hickman said: “We were looking at the pictures again, and I just saw Jacko there. “None of us are really Michael Jackson fans. I mean I like him, but we’re not crazy about him or anything.” The children Chris, 16, Amanda, 15, Jason, 13, Alisha, 10, Ami-Lee, six, and Kye, four, all see the famous singer’s face in the scan photo too. But the new family member will not be called Michael – the couple already know they are having a girl.

Freaky! Elton looks no different tbh

Just watched Black Book - Dutch WWII resistance movie. Excellent.

Need any proofreaders?

I know this will come across as nitpicky, but in the parts where you state a grasp of English language is mandatory, you have mis-spelt the word mandatory. Hey Ho

if it's over 5c that also means its still tshirt weather 5 degrees? Puff!

Cinzano?

All the best mate.

He looks a bit simple to be fair The bloke extreme left looks like he's about to get all "Henry Rollins" with Simple Simon.

Certainly looks like Dyer. Hard to tell without injuries. Just thought, might it be at Portman Rd after SBR died?

Police interviewed Sir Alex Ferguson tonight over the actors death. They said it was in relation to the late Equalizer.

Watched Flags Of Our Fathers and Letters From Iwo Jima last night. Thought "Letters" was outstanding.

Crocktastic. Probably already faxed him a contract for Jan. The horrible thing is I was only half-joking.

When are we signing him?

Since when has being sectioned been referred to as a job?

fyp

I'm torn tbh- I think it's got the potential to be a fantastically positive change , not just for our club, but for football in general.The prospect of it coming off in the near future leaves me excited,very excited, The torn bit comes in because I haven't got two beans to rub together right now. The nearest I can realistically predict being able to invest anything is next summer. I sincerely hope this works, so that I can(invest). I have to say that I'm not in the least surprised at the negative posts- worrying about selection processes for Presidents???? lets get the club bought first ffs.

Well said the last paragraph Trophyshy. This is our chance, and it seems a very well thought out scheme.

Nailscockney.com@goal3theshitefest

Not possible Wee Man He's got a degreeeeeeeee you know.

They're my favourite dishes though, where you can hoy (within reason) what you like in and you have to be a moron to really fuck it up. Bolognese is the same. Actually, I wouldn't say no if anyone's got any bolognese/lasagna sauce tips - the recipes I've tried have been decent but lacking something and I'm buggered if I know what. If you can be arsed to make it, Demi-Glace stock is a great addition to most red meat based sauces. I make a batch up every few months and freeze it - you only need about a tablespoon per recipe.

I said we were launching this week (tbf I may have incorrectly said Monday but I think it was decided to hold until Tuesday to see what went on at the weekend, protests etc), its tomorrow the official launch and even then though I wouldnt expect to see a nice big list of names and amounts, its not really something you should do, publish details of who has given what. Anyone pledging cash though has to pay 10% of it to the holding solicitors as "Proof of Funds", this way we remove those that are talking crap and have no intention/ no funds. Don't forget Pud, KD is the future owner of Blyth Spartans. Don't be giving away trade secrets to the opposition.

....hence the bottle?