Monkeys Fist

CT’s sexy talk with the Mrs.

Looks like @sammynb’s request for more flange might be coming to fruition. This is a safe space. We hate everyone equally without prejudice

Who fucking asked you, Johnny Come Lately? 😉

( Don’t fucking ask what I had to scroll past to find this gif).

I still find it incredible that a couple of seasons ago we all winced when we saw his name on the team sheet, and now, we’re bemoaning the fact he might not be playing for us in the Champions League, as he’s such an integral part of our burgeoning success. Credit rightly goes to Eddie for an extraordinary turnaround of a player, but the biggest credit has to go to Big Useless Joe himself. He must wake up in the morning and kiss himself in the mirror

Since we’re doing ancient ones… King George makes a secret visit to the field hospitals in North Africa during WWII, as a moral boost for the Tommies. He walks up to the first lad in his bed and asks why he’s in. “ Haemorrhoids, Sir” says the lad. “ And what’s the treatment for that?” says The King. “ Wire brush and Dettol, Sir!” says the lad. “ Anything I can do for you?” Says Georgie ” No Sir, I’m being well looked after.” Next lad, same crack ” And what are you I for, my man?” ” Gonorrhea, Sir. “ “ Oh… what’s the treatment for that ?” ” Wire brush and Dettol, Sir.” ” Anything I can do for you, my man?” ” No Sir, I’m very well cared for” Third lad ” At ease, soldier. What are you in for?” Says wor King Geordie. “ Bleeding gums Sir” ” And how’s that treated?” ” Wire brush and Dettol, Sir” “ Anything I can do for you, Private?” ” Yes sir, there is …” ” Name it my good man “ ” Can you put my name at the top of the treatment list?”

1925 called and wants its joke back.

I can genuinely say I’ve never fucking heard of Mark Harper.

I had a word with the Brizzle Massive, told them I’d set The Broken Doll on them if they didn’t show up in numbers. You’re my band now.

I think it was shirts, not ties, but who knows?

Should’ve invited CT round for a light snack- problem solved.

I really enjoyed reading that, for precisely that reason. They really don’t like it up ‘em.

5-0. Longstaff getting all five.

Just the one bottle of wine tonight?

He looks like your man from Tears for Fears.

In the Corner with him!

Where did you go Wykiki, name and shame.

Tino’s head is gargantuan.

I’d go home first if I were you.

Pick that fucker out the net Miggy the beast.