Monkeys Fist

fyp

Comes in various sizes. Takes ground coffee. Unscrews at the waist, water goes in the bottom, coffee in a holder on top of that, then on the stove. Steam percolates up thru the coffee and collects in the top section. Cleans in the sink, so The Washing Up Fairy tells me. They are the canines testes.

Heard that from a few places now. Happy Whorenukkah? I know..... Terrible

Here's to the next 117!

Goes well with Dark Meat.

One of these LM

Dont worry, I've got some Piesporter in for you. I know how you like it MF promised he'd bring the Black Tower too. A mate of mine swears this is quality wine- had it on the tables at his wedding !

Wahey Wyki!!! Go on son, get stuck in to some Egg Nog !

No, Paws is the guilty party I think. Obviously picked it up subconciously whilst drooling over Nigella's festive rack( for she is responsible for the semolina spuds). I swear by goose fat for top notch roasties. Guilty as charged for all of the above m'lud (especially the drooling bit ) Goose fat is essential for roasties. breast or thigh man?

Fucking hell, that really takes the piss. I seriously would have refused that. She (the friend) was a strange one. Her father , at the age of 49, decided he had been adopted and was really Italian!Changed his full name from Derek Cole to Ricardo San Antonio. Half his kids took his new Italian name, the others didn't. She went Latin, but when her 1st sprog was born, she had to hide his nameband in the Hospital from her paternal grandparents as "Ricardo" hadn't told them of his Italian heritage. Fucking mentalists. Holy mackarel. That's like a lost Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. Honestly, I could probably write a mini- series about her family. African princes are also involved in the lineage. ( there is more chance this might be based on fact, as one of her brothers is black. )

Mrs. Fist insists on playing her Christmas compliations all day today- same every year. Just had " Stop the Cavalry" by Jonah Lewie(sp). Now it's " All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah " yes I most definately would" Carey. Yo fucking Ho Ho She does it on purpose to wind me up , I'm sure of it

That'll go lovely with the egg mayonaisse starters.

Fucking hell, that really takes the piss. I seriously would have refused that. She (the friend) was a strange one. Her father , at the age of 49, decided he had been adopted and was really Italian!Changed his full name from Derek Cole to Ricardo San Antonio. Half his kids took his new Italian name, the others didn't. She went Latin, but when her 1st sprog was born, she had to hide his nameband in the Hospital from her paternal grandparents as "Ricardo" hadn't told them of his Italian heritage. Fucking mentalists.

You can get em over here. They are relatively cheap too. The one I use every day makes 2cups. I bought a 6 cup version a couple of years back from Fenwicks ( I think) for under £20.

One of Mrs. Fists pals once gave us a framed , poster sized picture of her and her boys. I shit you not. It lived under the bed for 5 years, going up in the hallway whenever she was coming round( mercifully infrequent). She had a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle too! When she and Mrs. F eventually drifted, I took enormous pleasure in destroying it.

I already have- I'm bringing the Bisto.

My brother brought back me a one of those hexagonal, stove-top esspresso percolators from Italy nearly 10 years ago. Used it most mornings , still going strong. Beatifully simple, beatifully coffee.

Get in early mate. I was only in for an hour and took up Heroin to get over it.

Bitch

Bainbridges had some in this afternoon. Good luck.

In the fridge, alongside the Creme de Menthe and Chianti-in-a-basket.

He's telling porkies. He's really doing Turkey Twizzlers with Aunt Bessies frozen spuds and Batchelors Mushy Peas. Arctic Roll for pud. All washed down with Blue Nun.

He's got you a cast of his Gentlemans Relish hasn't he? I told him, it takes more than a chipolata to stuff a game bird.

Come on then SM, what's Wacky bought you?