Monkeys Fist

“ Sorry Miss, the dog ate my homework”

Here’s the lowdown on your new club, it’s been fun. Ta ta.

Fucking hell. Hats off to him for not being a gibbering mess after shit like that.

Chicken Nonce has picked up his wages for the last year and a bit by essentially rewriting the same article over and over.

Such as?

Whippet shit is a great fertiliser

I thought you lived in Lancashire though? Surely all tea there is Lancashire Tea? Btw, Yorkshire Tea are missing a trick by not renaming their product Yorkshire T’

The asterisks

I don’t have a kettle in the cab…

Moral of the story DON’T SPEAK TO THE STAFF!

So good you took it twice?

Mag behaviour that, like.

You can choose not to pay a TV License fee too.

I just heard now and all my pocket cheese has gone sour.

Personally I can’t wait for him to conduct his first interview on his new show on GB News… “ Huw Gets to the Bottom of It!” If there is a god, it’ll be Sam Fox, with her Mammas out, discussing how the Sun paid her to get ‘em out when she turned 16. Huw, of course, will present the show in a pair of backless leather Chaps.

CT scurrying to set up his new eeetseeeyuh page.

Just in case @wykikitoon has spent the day in a sensory deprivation chamber and not had his day ruined by: People Weather Cars Etc Here, have this fucker!

It’s part of the strategy to win back Durham, obvs.

It’s a shame he chose Odysseus, as then his initials would’ve been FAJ. Which also sounds like a little cunt.

I did. He asked for a picture but I had to knock him back- if you break personal time for one fan, the floodgates open. We found this mental old church that was chocka with Basil plants for some celebration, smelt amazing. ( a quick non-filth google tells me St. Basil is the main boy there.)

My mate at BBC news recommended “Czech mature piss-mop blow-bang” Apparently season 1 is slow to start but the story picks up in season 2.

Aye, me and Mrs. F. had a look round Corfu Town but mostly spent the days quaffing ale at the pool and the evenings watching sunsets at the cliff side bar before eating and more drinks. This was in the Before* times * nippers