Monkeys Fist

"Hasn't washed since Hillsborough" Tan

What's the worst hallucination you've had on the coke then Kev?

The stand-up career didn't work out then, dave? Fuck me, this bin-dipping genius makes Kevin look like Bill Hicks. Has to hold his breath to type I reckon.

It's a little bit sad that discussing these things is taboo because of two members Fixed

Fucking hell

BBC News 11 year old girl killed in water sports accident. Kinky Bitch..…

Just change his team badge to an Everton one. Hell no, the one I've just changed it too is much more appropriate... Very good. Can you make Kelvin McKenzie his permanent avatar?

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces! The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. The Coroner tells the Inspector: 'First body: An Italian , 60, died Of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile.' 'Second body: 'Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the Lottery, spent it all on whiskey, died of alcohol poisoning, hence the Smile.' The Inspector asked, 'What of the third body?' 'Ah,' says the coroner, 'This is the most unusual one. Kevin Gallagher, Irish, 17 yr old virgin, struck by lightning.' 'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector. 'Thought he was having his picture taken'.

I'd always pictured you with moobs.

Much like The Queen, who thinks Great Britain smells of fresh paint, it wasn't until marriage that I realised my entry into a room wasn't automatically met with the silky whoosh of knickers hitting the floor. 8/10 as a standard , with a little effort I'd say a Nigel Tufnel style Eleven.

I'm devastated. Truly.

Jay Rayner, Matthew Fort, beware!! The young shavers are coming.

Scousers having a minutes silence?

Doggone

Aye.

Didn't have CSI's in Hiroshima or Nagasaki. Lest we forget.

May your cakes always rise Happy Birthday Alex

Would Would run away screaming

Roman Wall-Housesteads , Vindolanda etc. Kielder- ferry ride, cycling Fill your boots.

I have the Right Of Fist Now, it's past your bedtime. Away to your wank pit and dream of Jade Goody.

You have None. You aren't that significant

Are the PSNI known as "Plad"?

The photo of him on the " Get the App" button- is he curling one off?

I just hope they're planting trees to reduce their book-burning carbon footprint. *hugs tree, strokes bunny*