Monkeys Fist

In the true spirit of Christmas, for one day only I’d like to declare a truce between the cultured, clean, standers of this fine board, and the filthy toilet spelunkers who dig in the dark. We can all appreciate this…

You could be living under a bridge this Christmas, but you’d still be having a better time than these basket cases.

Happy Christmas you lovely pack of wankers!

Forgot to say, Brexit loving resident of Monaco, Jim Ratcliffe. Lovely bloke.

Manure getting cash boost- https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/67815642 I assume none of his companies will be allowed to sponsor them, without howls of protest from everyone?

I’ve had dealing with plenty of mackems over the years tbh. I can honestly say, hand-on-heart, I fucking despise the inbred, racist, retarded, six-fingered cunts.

Nah, only reflections. Tbh, it really was shite. Not a single slighlty creepy animatronic figure in the entire thing. I blame Hamas.

Judging by the look on AP’s face, one of these lads has gone past the first knuckle.

Missed this entirely as we went out for steaks this afternoon on a whim. Wandered round the Christmas market (shite), looked at Fenwicks window ( shite) , came home and saw the result (shite). Very nice steak though- Bar+Block on St. Andrew’s St.

Carrot cake is fucking glorious you absolute heathens. Just don’t slather it in 6ft of over-sweetened icing.

Since we’re on about pies- does a pie need sides and a base (like a proper pie), or do we think these casseroles with some flaky pastry hoyed on the top of it can piggy-back on the name of pie, too?

There’s only one greengrocers in Wallsend man- Tommy Owens!

APYP

I’ll give you that one

Sounds like an episode from Minging Bugger Footballers Wives…

Trip to Hillheads farm shop on Saturday morning for fruit and veg- everything else is done. Out for steaks with the family on Saturday afternoon, then I’ll be prepping like a bitch Sunday morning. My record for Christmas dinner is 50 minutes from turning the oven on to serving up. With 15 to feed I don’t think I’ll be breaking that, but it won’t be too far off.

Why not take her to see your favourite big-titted matchday barmaid? BTMB-“ Oh Hi Christmas! Have you brought your mam out?” MrsCT- “Treeeee! “… WALLOP!!!

Seriously though, @Christmas Tree , the answer is yes, there are.

Tanya and Her Organ are on every Tuesday lunchtime at the Black Garter. She does requests too, as long as it’s Angels by Robbie Williams.