Monkeys Fist

Pfft, bloke was a fucking amateur - didn’t even butter his suit. Just try catching me when I’m fully greased.

Some of the daft cunts at the end of this article getting annoyed at the drivers… Go North East drivers to strike indefinitely as pay deal fails https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-67237676 Go North West pays £15:+ ph. Go North East pays £12:+ ph and offered them £14:15. It’s not hard to see why they’re out, is it?

Have it!

Absolutely top notch article here. Somerset man in gimp suit guilty of harassing women https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-67238445 A selection of quotes from it; ”Hunt was arrested minutes after the second incident, and is said to have told police: "I am not a gimp - I do not own a gimp suit. I am not in a gimp suit." “He said that Hunt told him: "I am not dangerous, I am a normal person, I have got a few problems." A search found Hunt was not wearing a T-shirt or any underwear and inside his van was a collection of wet black clothing, women's tights, face masks and gloves.” Mint.

Are we ready for the least surprising bit of news? Boris Johnson: Former prime minister to host GB News show https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-67242822

Glad to hear you’re off The Dust.

“ Sandro, I’m ina da kitchen- come stuff my cannelloni mio amore!”

Erm…

Also, she’s an über-mackem, not just extra fingers but a whole extra arm.

Fyp

RIP Sweet Prince.

Not after the first two weeks- too weak.

“ You may now place the ring on your bride’s finger” ” Spoilt for choice here marra”.

I think the H-Blocks were less grey and more a particular, earthy, shade of brown.

Give my regards to the groom and his sister- hope they have a happy marriage. Wish her luck with her GCSE’s next year too.

Mrs. F. works a large, penguin-themed housing group in sunderland. According to her, their interior decorating is less Dulux- inspired and more H-Block. Hands may not even play a part in it.

Surf and turf off the menu too.

We had one of those on e the way over to Clogland. I think the kids were expecting some kind of sea view, they were visibly underwhelmed by the cupboard with beds in that we got. Glad to hear life as a Rock Star is living up to the hype.

It would do his head in walking through Town at about 3pm, thinking “ Who are these old cunts and why are they shouting my name?”

I have no evidence, but he absolutely pops the collars on his rugger tops and pairs it with red/pink chinos. So, that much of a cunt.

It’s Blunt. Tory MP Crispin Blunt arrested on suspicion of rape https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-67233090

No way this bloke is a smoggie, mind.

BBC say a man in his 60s was arrested. Of the Tory MPs in Surrey seats, only two are in their 60s- Crispin Blunt and Chris Grayling. I was gutted to see Gove and Hunt are both in their fifties.