Monkeys Fist

Offset by her tatty bush.

Whilst we’re at it, I wonder if Mrs Tonali has finished her “second album”?

I mean, we all know how, don’t we?

I think you’ll find the two runners-up mentioned above were playing low tier teams and only managed 5 goals… between them.

Mackem monorail. Imagine…

Yes*, yes*, yes*, and yes*. *no *no *no *lift my arse off the seat

“The Express was not prepared to comment on Shepherd's imprisonment.”

Fucking sitters man.

They missed the ‘g’ off his name, didn’t they?

Oh god… if that happens we’ll need to book time on the James Webb Telescope to measure the furthest reaches of Gemma’s ego.

Klopp, homeless behind SJP, scrounging tab-ends from the bins. “ Sorry!”

These last few (hundred) pages man, it must be absolutely fucking miserable being a mackem* … … if it was any other club you’d honestly have a bit of sympathy for them, but these are such a rancid pack of slavering cunts that they can stew(art Donald) in it for decades for all I care. * Yes

Also… … you know the score, dudes.

13 goals in a week on my watch- beat that you big ginger taxi-danger.

Signing of the season: The lad we’re getting in January Top goalscorer: Isak Most assists: Barnes Biggest surprise: Mad Dog becomes a Buddhist and is zen as fuck in the dugout. Best Young player: Miley Player of the season: Joelinton PL finish: 2nd CL finish: Quarters or Semis Trophies? Sela Cup- done League Cup win, FA Final, (depends on ref being a Scouse or not 😉).

The Echo’s next editorial. “Pocket Cheese- the Existential Threat to The North East’s Moral Champions”

Clucking Hell!

Outside of one-off cup ties, I can’t see when these will happen any time soon.

Would you prefer us to call you Waynetta? We’re a safe space an’ that.

It’s incredible that it’s taken this long for these fucking window lickers to realise what everyone else could see from day 1. Delewded.

Since when were Pink Slices a purely mackem thing?

He’s just showing off that he knows his Dad. 😉