Monkeys Fist

What would another relegation cost us? More than £35 million? Hmm??

When he opens his mouth, you can see Derek's hand wiggling around at the back of his throat… … is the problem

"Whilst we're playing at Stoke Pardew's having a poke Mrs. Kuqi. " I can see another Sky Classic 4-3 thriller here chaps. Zaza

I wouldn't have a clue how they/it sounds. Better than they sing ? Edit; Father Dougal works well I was thinking that actually. "Now, Kevin, these cows are really small, those cows are very far away" "Oh, right ye are Ted ,so"

I wouldn't have a clue how they/it sounds. Better than they sing ? Edit; Father Dougal works well

2 words...... Kinnear, Joe This post has been reported to the Cockernee Credit Denial Board. It's pwopa nawtee.

Kevin's had 3 pints this week. Problem drinking.

They say little boys copy their Daddies. Hey Ho.

It's all my Christmases and birthdays at once is what that is Susannah Reid, Kate Silverton

Same here, we have direct debits set up to several charities.British Red Cross, Amnesty and Shelter specifically. Buy the noses and stuff for the kids, but I don't ring in to donate. The bolded bit is unnecessary mate, nowt wrong in saying it.

Andy and Dirk's Hillsborough re-enactment gets a frosty reception.

Aye, i don't get what everyones beef is with him tbh. He's never seemed that offensive to me. Concur

If we had an earthquake of that Magnitude it would be a lot worse than that here with the geology makeup of the UK. Also, isnt there a shelf in Gibraltar that if that falls would cause one of the biggest tsunami's known to man, basically the UK would go? Are you thinking of the Canaries? http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megatsunami

Every day is Red Nose day

This is being rush released. Prease give genelously

My brother did Sunday lunch for the family the other week. Maple syrup roast chicken- absolutely sublime. Season the chicken, slather it in maple syrup, roast upside down and baste often. (turn it over for last 20 mans to brown the skin) The gravy was fan-fucking-tastic.

He's better than average House!

Bitter experience? Fuck all left to nick.

Dear Fukushima, Welcome to the 6 finger club! Yours Sincerely, Sunderland(nr. Newcastle).

He's on his way…

Superb that like

I heard his family are absolutely crushed.

WTF is that? Looks like something you'd see on an STI warning poster I'm glad you mentioned that. Jamie said 'the rithe will cook inthide, no need to pre-cook' Like SHITE. Cooked for 1 hour 45 - half an hour longer than he suggested and the rice was still like fucking gravel, basically making it almost inedible. There's half of it left in the fridge too, I might nuke it in a bag for 20 minutes or just throw it at a parking inspector off of the roof. These cunts and their recipes man. Make it up as I go along and I'll ready steady cook any of these attention seeking goons. "Insthpired by a one minute converthation with Johnny Boy Hamilton…" Pukka

What's the easiest way to pick up Japanese women? JCB.