Monkeys Fist

MLFd YP

He used it to wipe the jizz off his hands.

Kinky bitch.

It’s mine and Mrs. Fist’s 25th Anniversary, so I’ll be nipping to the garage on the way home from work for some flowers and a bag of Maltesers.

Billy Stamper.

To Stoke too A quick vox pops on Fawcett Street…

As an ardent member of Team Sausage, I say bring it the fuck on, in French, German and Italian sausage varieties. 5-0. Every game.

PSG, Milan and Dortmund?

If you look up “ Shit Weasel” in the dictionary it’s definition is “ Miguel Delaney”.

Do they sail themselves from Australia? For £142 I want them to be more watertight than a Hungarian Granny three way.

But, that would harm their pals.

Meanwhile… https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-66645681

He’s like the Netto Ant McPartlin.

Length of foot, aye. But they’re stupidly wide, with a freakishly high instep, so I need to get 7 or 8s to get them on.

Is it the hump or the eyes? ( wait for it… )

That’s even worse than his haircut.

I think they spent their wad filming his two, maybe three, ( an eagles, panther and snake if I remember rightly). transformation scenes, and had nowt left for scripts, plot lines, etc. The reboot will see Steve Barnes, football manager and international man of mystery, solving crimes by transforming in to an elephant seal, a pig, and a sloth. I can see history repeating itself tbh.

I was fully expecting that to be in sunderland.

This has always been the problem for Labour- being leftist doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be some rabid radical, but getting the balance between proper leftist policies and appealing to all the members is near impossible, seemingly. We definitely need a root and branch shake up of the entire political system. Cameron got in on a 12 seat majority, and proceeded to fuck the entire country for decades to come through Brexit. Then, even though everyone could see it was an absolute shit show, there was no way to overturn it. The system is fucked, it’s not Starmer’s fault that it is, but he’s doing fuck all to make me think he’s the man to change it.

He’s auditioning for the reboot of that 80s TV classic, Manimal.

It’s a shame Corbyn was absolutely fucking useless as a leader, because he had some sound ideas. Who’s the next proper left leader-in-waiting, if there is one?

That’s a lovely blankie, though but.

What’s most annoying is that I was wearing safety boots, but because my feet are so fucking hobbit-like, (wider than they are long), I have to get size 8 boots for feet that are only size 6 long to get the fuckers on. Little toe evidently wasn’t in the “safety zone.

Eh?

I broke my fucking toe on my first drop this morning. One 11 hour shift later and it’s throbbing like a bastard. Just taken my boot off to have a look at it and for some reason I’m suddenly craving some Morcilla Blood Sausage Ffs