Monkeys Fist

The President is a goddamn ni****!

You Forelock tugging lickspittle, you

Class goal from Messi there mind.

"I am become Gemmill, destroyer of worlds"

No… it won't. You boring cocksmoker.

We aim to please Sir

Also, who fed Strachan the dud comedy pills?

Oh aye, you might want to tie her up first, as she seems a bit lively.

Build up a head of steam, then stick your fingers down her throat. She'll gag, resulting in some very handy abdominal muscle contractions. Repeat until muck is chucked.

Won't you just end up having a wank anyway? Granted , a posh one, but …

I've had the steak from Blagdon several times. It is absolutely top notch. They also sell Northumbrian cheese, which I think is made just along the road- the Garlic Cheddar is gorgeous. There's a butchers in Whitley Bay, Nicholson's on Park View, which also does superb meat. I'd definitely recommend it, and it's a bit closer to Shields than Blagdon.

You like it rare then 2J ?

Aye.

Cheer up you miserable bastard. It's your birthday! Happy Birthday

HMP Slade 1st Team.

You should take some chopsticks down there with you. At the very least, ask for a slice of orange and a hot towel for when you finish. Umami fanny. Classic.

Polish Nick lurking, I feel a poll in the offing

I'd swear that the BBC did a documentary about Dignitas a few years back , which showed a British man's last moments. I don't really see what the fuss is about. If it encourages more debate about assisted suicide then I'm all for it. Besides, the news is full of violent death shown at teatime ( eg.WTC footage) so a peaceful death depicted tastefully shouldn't really ruffle any feathers. There's always the option not to watch it.

Looks like Craig Cash, off Royle Family. Spooky.

Look out for his "I'm watching you!" move. Classic

Next time , poop chute and donkey punch.