Monkeys Fist

Har(un)well more like.

BUT HAVE YOU ANSWERED HIS QUESTION??????

I’ve also used up my fun allowance for the month Craig.

Friend of Sméagol? Got to be Robinrobin.

Out of interest Quentin, since you’re clearly not a Newcastle fan, which team do you support?

Thanks for your input Quentin. Feel free to get to fuck at any moment, before we do it for you.

I’m 55. Manimal was fucking gash. Top quality, so bad it’s good, gash- but gash nonetheless.

I had a pretty traumatic time recently when a close friend was involved in a car accident. Luckily we were able to pull them out, but they had terrible injuries and had lost a lot of blood. When the ambulance turned up they wanted to administer a transfusion, but none of us knew the blood group of our poor, now departed, friend. What will always stay with me though, as they slowly passed away, was their amazing attitude, despite the circumstances. They just kept shouting “ Be Positive! Be positive!” Terrible way to go

That’s a very touching story.

This is great news to the muscly young lads of Merseyside.

Have good one Sammy!

Mohamed Al Fayed. 94 Al Fayded, more like etc.

This is inevitable, it happens to all the best managers at some point - what sets the really good ones apart from the rest is how they deal with it. I just can’t see our steely little bugger caving when it does happen. Whatever the cause of it, he’ll adapt. Look at how he spent his time whilst out of work. I genuinely think we’ve got a keeper in Howe- I just hope the owners do too, but i think from what we’ve seen so far that could be the case.

Unlike our mutual managerial mishap, Mr. Bruce, the cunt of all cunts on the landlord front, it seems we are living rent-free in the heads of our polydactyl paedo neighbours.

Red numbers- it’s always the simplest solutions that work best.

Him, and Cattermole , are the perfect explanation to anyone asking ” How shit would it be to be a mackem?” Even in our darkest days, with an owner spewing in pub fireplaces and a manager that had “left” and “right” written inside his shoes, we still had players like Yohan Kebab, Charles Insomnia and Ben Arfa to give us hope. Kilbane and Cattermole , the epitome of fucking plodders, are genuine legends at safc

Blob strop.

Make sure she’s rehydrated before The Run.

I look forward to hearing that fucking toucher that lives in his mam’s attic attempting to pronounce this poor fucker’s surname.

Let’s pretend for a moment that this lad is the new Zidane, and sets the Championship alight with his masterful skills and headbutts. Don’t they realise that within the blink of an eye, he’d be getting poached by their betters 10 mile up the road and he’d be away before they’ve even had time to light the kitchen roll?

Is Trippier tiny, or is Wilson a Unit?

Has anyone actually seen any of them explain what the “Model” is , other than vague references to it? Does it involve paying off the £10m loan to fix the lift? Non-stick coatings on the seats to clean the shite off easier? Selling their players to rivals ?

He’s the Byker Mongo from Blazing Saddles. If he got hit by an asteroid he’d barely blink

“ I’ll spend a tenner on a curry and lob it at their window- that’ll show the Maggy bastids!” All part of the long-term Model.…