Monkeys Fist

Baaalllz.

Isn’t it a similar distance from Wurzel Country to London as Newcastle to London?

Beige 1-0 up at HT. The Diiiisssgraaaces denied a pelanty shout just now.

Didn’t realise that the lad singing at MacGowan’s funeral played Outspan in The Commitments.

It’s not that bad- try moving out of sunderland.

Their yearly shower - for free, Marras!

“ Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV”

Nae tits. Still would.

He doesn’t have the grey matter to do subtlety, does he? If he does get a show, as I said, it’ll be short-lived as 1- He’s thick as mince 2- He’ll probably knock the producer out.

I am on the edge of my seat waiting to find out this intellectual colossus’s views on climate change, brexit, and other grift fodder. When’s he getting his (short lived)show?

Fucking amateur … ( yes, that works a few ways ).

I watched a French Art House film last week about a bloke who’s obsession was breaking in to libraries and pouring meat juices on all the non-fiction books. Baste on a true story, apparently…

That’s absolutely the way to go out mind. A celebration rather than maudlin.

Mrs. F. just came in to the kitchen where I’m cooking a late curry. “ Have you seen what came today?” , she says , holding a Dart Crossing pelanty charge notice. From when we came home from Bruges in August. Proceeds to regale me with the appalling standard of customer service when she rang to query it, yadda yadda. “What are you smiling at?”says La Fist? “ I distinctly remember me saying to you, as we came over the bridge, ‘pay that now pet, or we’ll just forget and get a shitty charge later’ and you taking out your phone, fannying on with it for a minute or two, and then saying “Done” Mrs.F, indignant … Me, laughing my keks off…

mackem behaviour that, mind.

It’d be like leaving 22yr old Salma Hayek for Denise Squelch ( at any age).

Sacked again?

Speaking of which, break’s over- I’m off to find some two-wheeled speed bumps.

@MrBass Glad to see a fellow Stander standing up to proudly be counted. I think we’ll wipe these clean out. 5-0. Pope , all pelanties.

KD’d YP.

He likes to keep his fingers in as many pies as possible.

@ewerk now checking his ticket with a sinking feeling “ It was a feckin’ bargain, so it was “

I try to limit myself to only posting when I’m on A and B roads- they tend to have more cyclists who slow you down pretty well by the time they’re going under the second axles.