Monkeys Fist

Fuck me chaps, wor Mel is getting destroyed here, I feel it's my wanker's duty to defend her honour. So Fuck Off ye pack of bastards There we are, I think you'll agree I've saved her admirably. Seriously though, 41, two kids and your saying her tits don't look as perky as they used to? They look pretty fine to me

Sacre Bleu!

Jayne Mansfield - good head

MNKILF Anyone watching the new series of The Killing on BBC4 btw? Quality. First two episodes on iplayer link below, next two on Saturday night, repeated next Wednesday. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b017h7m1

Tant pis

Standards are slipping. You noticed though, you filthy minded ski bum

Ewerk, you are now my bestest eva pal and most favouritest spudmuncher on here.

:rimshot:

Hearing them groan is insta-mess.

Spiegeleier, but mighty fine Spiegeleier.

Wahey! And aye, Brummie accents are spectacularly shit.

Blisters I take it? Whenever possible,ie- at home , remove your shoes and socks so that air can get to them and they can dry out. If you can, rib them with surgical spirit. I'm guessing they've already burst too?

Can't it just be settled with a handshake?

You're going to fuck the gaffer??

Let's be honest though lads, if the words she's saying are " Yes, I swallow", your not listening to the nuances of accent , are you?

Fucking Non-Gooks!

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE. > > > Ingredients: > > * 2 cups flour > * 1 stick butter > * 1 cup of water > * 1 tsp baking soda > * 1 cup of sugar > * 1 tsp salt > * 1 cup of brown sugar > * Lemon juice > * 4 large eggs > > * Nuts > * 2 bottles wine > * 2 cups of dried fruit Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or summat. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat. Go to Tesco and buy cake. Bingle Jells!

A soft Scottish accent on a lass is like 4 pints on the beer goggles.

Deaders will be onto this again about designers using real life situations for games. Stand by for a Cunterhead onslaught

Yep!

Even has the stance…

Criminally low numbers if he's the example tbh.