Monkeys Fist

So for the record, I hadn’t clicked on the link Kid Dynamite posted ( which explains Ed Harrison’s blog, and his illness), before I posted the Curtis Mayfield pic. I wish I had, because I feel a bit shite now. Everyone is more than welcome, it may take time to adjust, you may hate us, you may love us, you may be mildly indifferent. What unites us all is our love for NUFC… except for @t00nraider2, the mackem skank. ( I feel like Bill Pullman at the end of Independence Day here).

I’d be impressed if he used someone else’s

I was, the KD started on about banging Hooters lasses.

I suppose it would explain why she was moaning.

In the beach? Did that not get a bit gritty?

Oof! Sorry about that, it was a wild punt and unfortunately hit the wrong note- no offence intended. You’re all very welcome tbh.

How about “ Fluffier than usual” back, then?

Imagine being a dog in Merseyside the last 24hrs or so… poor fuckers are sensitive to high-pitched whining noises.

Right, I’m going to leave our new friends be whilst they gather themselves. As my dowager Aunt used to say ”A good host knows when to fuck off”

Also, does this mean you’re a Woollyback?

Is he a clever lad or thick as a whale sandwich?

I mean, it’s not mandatory, but you’ll be talked about in the smoking shed if you don’t.

Great idea. I once hung my arse over an 800ft cliff and let loose. * It was reminiscent of Wile E Coyote’s regular fate. We welcome Standers and filthy Sitters. * true story.

This must be how NO felt when we gangbanged them after Quiff nearly shagged everything Welcome one and all. Just call me Uncle Fist.

CT’s sexy talk with the Mrs.

Looks like @sammynb’s request for more flange might be coming to fruition. This is a safe space. We hate everyone equally without prejudice

Who fucking asked you, Johnny Come Lately? 😉

( Don’t fucking ask what I had to scroll past to find this gif).

I still find it incredible that a couple of seasons ago we all winced when we saw his name on the team sheet, and now, we’re bemoaning the fact he might not be playing for us in the Champions League, as he’s such an integral part of our burgeoning success. Credit rightly goes to Eddie for an extraordinary turnaround of a player, but the biggest credit has to go to Big Useless Joe himself. He must wake up in the morning and kiss himself in the mirror

Since we’re doing ancient ones… King George makes a secret visit to the field hospitals in North Africa during WWII, as a moral boost for the Tommies. He walks up to the first lad in his bed and asks why he’s in. “ Haemorrhoids, Sir” says the lad. “ And what’s the treatment for that?” says The King. “ Wire brush and Dettol, Sir!” says the lad. “ Anything I can do for you?” Says Georgie ” No Sir, I’m being well looked after.” Next lad, same crack ” And what are you I for, my man?” ” Gonorrhea, Sir. “ “ Oh… what’s the treatment for that ?” ” Wire brush and Dettol, Sir.” ” Anything I can do for you, my man?” ” No Sir, I’m very well cared for” Third lad ” At ease, soldier. What are you in for?” Says wor King Geordie. “ Bleeding gums Sir” ” And how’s that treated?” ” Wire brush and Dettol, Sir” “ Anything I can do for you, Private?” ” Yes sir, there is …” ” Name it my good man “ ” Can you put my name at the top of the treatment list?”

1925 called and wants its joke back.

I mean, as long as they’re not a Lot Lizard they’re relatively safe. Honestly, this woke generation of millennials …

I can genuinely say I’ve never fucking heard of Mark Harper.