Monkeys Fist

Abu Qatada is my guess

That's actually quite disturbing!

Fuck the ceasefire, you namby pamby dooders, where's all the Mohammedists at??

They sell Fairtrade money.

Packing in the taxis?

Does this all mean we won't be getting Chapter 11 ?

Selling cheap lentils at our local Indian supermarket. Should I get a pakora case?

Atta boy! Anar it's getting harder to come up with ones that arent Simla Doesn't matar though.

I get it from my Naan, not my Pappa, dum twat that he was.

Achar 'm sure Fish won't mind. There's methi in his madness. Dosa some excellent ones from Brock, but inevitably the puns will become poori until Sambar-stard stops us.

I channa compete with that bhutta'll try , I've a reputation to keep up paneer, don't want to end up looking a moong.

Gosht! That was a bit overboard. (Mas)Alla was trying to do was have a laugh. I'm so upset I need A Loo. Kadhai ask you to ease up a bit? With cheesy chips.

I'd paratha you did. Those puns deserve criticism, but you'd cry like a lassi.

I'll Pm people who ask, but I'm not risking owt, just in case. Are you dancing?

Krul is an internationally acclaimed expert on the mating rituals of sea cucumbers. True fact.

But you can post a link to the relevant site page, no ?

Can you not call in for a chaat, try to curry favour? Coat…

Fuck me Renton! Glad your old man made it, those twelve hours must've seemed like an eternity. It's amazing how in situations like that , we can find the ability to remain strong and not just collapse in a heap. You find things out about yourself and those you love which can alter your entire approach to life.

Nine minutes silence?

Recovering from a particularly brutal dose of Man Flu, so Chicken Chow Mein is on the menu tonight. For 2 Couple of small chicken breasts 8-10 King Prawns. Couple of nests of egg noodles (about 400g) Half bunch of Spring Onions- shredded Mange Tout or Sugar Snaps Small carrot - cut into thin matchsticks Garlic- a large clove finely chopped Ginger- a tadge, finely chopped 2-3 tsp of Dark Soy 1tsp of corn flour, mixed with water The Sauce/ Marinade 2-3 tsp of Light Soy 2 Tbsp of Rice Wine ( or dry sherry) 1 and a bit Tsp of Sesame oil Pinch salt Pinch ground pepper 1. Cut the chicken into thin shreds, put into a bowl 2. Mix all the marinade ingredients, add half of it to the chicken and let it marinate for about 30 mins. 3. Boil some water in your wok, cook the noodles for 3-4 minutes. Plunge them into cold water to stop them cooking further, then rinse and drain. Stir through a splash of sesame oil. 4. Heat the wok, add about a tbsp oil and let it get smoking, then add the chicken and stir fry for about 2 mins. Remove and keep 5. Heat the wok again , stir fry the king prawns and veg ( except spring onions) for 2-3 minutes, adding the garlic and ginger halfway through. 6. Add the noodles,spring onions, the remaining half of the sauce , dark soy , cornflour mix and a tsp of sugar. Continue cooking for a couple of minutes. 7. Stir through the chicken and cook for another minute or so. 8. Neck. I added some shredded, dried cayenne chilli tonight, to the chicken mix and at the garlic stage, to kickstart the taste buds.