Monkeys Fist

Today is St. Geordies day and it's time the record was set straight. After literally minutes of research, I believe I have uncovered the true story of England's patron saint. Although he was a soldier in the Roman army, the widely held belief that St. George was from Syria is incorrect. Georgious Dobsonium was in fact born in what is now Shieldfield. The young Georgious ( Geordie Dobson to his mates) was forced to join up, but was well known for his insistence on wearing a black & white tunic , and flat cap under his helmet. His fearless approach to battle, accompanied by his war cry " C'monyadortymackem", soon gained him legendary status, culminating in his well known slaying of the Dragon ( again, history has muddied the waters here- the actual events are as follows. ) On his return home after serving his time in the army, Geordie was demobbed and had a farewell drink with his legionaries in the Agora Biggus. Towards the end of the evening, Geordie and his pals were confronted by a shrieking woman from a small, barbarian settlement 10 miles south of Pons Aelius. Although mostly unintelligible, Geordie could discern that she was demanding his wine skin full of " Vino Cyaneus", a drink known to be craved after by the residents of her filthy settlement. Realising the danger to his compatriots, Geordie threw the remnants of his lunchtime cheese ration over the snack the harridan had dropped behind her, knowing she would ravenously fall upon it in an instant. This she did, and at the last minute Geordie kicked the cheesy snack away, too late for the "Dragon" to stop, resulting in her braining herself on the pavement. The Dragon was Slayed. Geordie lived out the rest of his life quietly, growing leeks and racing his beloved pigeons, but his legend was assured, and today April 23rd is St Geordies day. I shall raise a stottie in his honour, and urge you, my fellow TTers, to do the same.

Aston who?

I don't actually want this season to end. We are just getting into our stride.

This. 3rd and I do believe I would need a new penis.

Arrested.

My current ringtone is

Fucking insatiable tbh.

You're going out with my bitch? WTF!!

Kids at Grannies, beers opened, heading out wit ma bitch in an hour.

Cooking thread , Shirley? And aye, I would've been happy with staying up at the start of the season.

Cabaye!!!

Pulis' half time talk- " Pure Shan that like , hew."

Wahey!

Aye, me too.

Aeris' new avatar is generating some interest … Ant & Gemmill

Giddup!

I bet the horrible shit starts his pre-match talk with " Oi Oi Saveloy!"

"She stirring We staring" Minx

Pulis stirring the shit http://www.dailystar.co.uk/football/view/247142/It-s-a-race-to-the-Ba-for-in-demand-Newcastle-striker/ Fuck off Tony, have a pint , have a drive.

I tried and failed with his Play in a Day books as a youth, primarily due to 1) realising most guitarists don't play with their tongue out due to concentrating. 2) having fingers like pigs tits. Cheers anyway though Bert RIP.

Wax it you mincer.

No, definately a terrorist.

That gay rights means forcing 6-year-olds to be transvestites, basically. My little lad loves dressing up - right, I'm off to chin his teacher.… … when he starts school in a year or two.

Vid or stfu. How would a vid prove anything? Could be anyone's exhaust. You'd need audio- " Did you know that 35% of endoscopys can res.......nnnnnnngh!" HF

Digital?