Monkeys Fist

When I went to Gemmill’s gaff to pick up the guitar for my nipper, it was like Grima Wormtongue opened the door, hissing at the light and social interaction. Tiny feet too.

Nope You assume I wear trousers.

Went a bit Fulwell 73 on the last line there, mate.

You assume I wear duds…

Wash your mouth out with soap, you filthy spelunker.

No thanks.

I thought she banged Beckham, not his Mrs?

Not many peeyple know that Storybewk International, where John the Storyteller comes from, was inspired by the tales from around the world of a sailor from Southwick. Hence why John’s wearing a white shirt with a red waistcoat, marra. True story FTM

Fuck the poll

Watching some of the footage today, of both the Israeli and Palestinian carnage wreaked on civilians, I was struck that, but for the flag whichever person had stuck on their video, you’d never know who was who- they were just ordinary, terrified people. There’s clearly a taste for this violence on both sides,amongst a select few, who stir up the cannon fodder, but I wonder, watching today, what will it take for both sides to say “Enough”? If this isn’t it, then the next logical point when that might happen is after a nuclear escalation. People mention the Good Friday Agreement as an example of two sides reaching that point, but the destruction and misery was nowhere near the levels that have played out here for decades. I’m at a loss tbh. I sincerely hope your family members are, and stay, safe Gloomy, I can’t imagine how it must be actually having relatives caught in this madness.

It’s just so fucking depressingly predictable, innocent people from both countries being slaughtered, and for what? One year from now, what will have changed? Fuck all.

@TommyVercetti Easily sorted this mind. 1- You feel the familiar pressure in the back-end. Do you a) Clench the nipsy and stiff-leg it to the nearest available toilet, where you can release the bomb-bay doors? b) Drop your pants outside Hendersons Butchers and lay a meaty steamer on the path, before waddling off to the chemist’s for a slug of methadone, buttering your cheeks as you go? 2. Yiz playin pool n yiz snookad, can yiz play the jump shot? ( hitting cue baal awwa anuntha baal te hit ya cullad baal)? Yes ah nah?

Size 6 toe to heel, size 16 wide.

There’ll always be some things that are uniquely sunderland.

Even when he was doing his Dangerous Gangs shite, Kemp will have got nowhere near my “body count”!

Sexed up YP

I’ve done this When I was a hippy. edit; it’s mentioned in the Ed’s Blog Welcome Thread

Come on now Renton! How’s he expected to do this, aaand get back in time for his nap before Countdown and The Chase? ffs.

Whys this daft cunt got a lilo? There’s no swimming pools on El Cap! ( Also, these lads shit in Pringles tubes and have to carry it out with all their gear Take that filthy arse spelunkers! )

Not as pissed as you were the other night.

Anything as long as it’s not got seeds in- they get stuck in your dentures.

Rattled some Aussie hooker/model. Fair play

Gemmill getting his arse handed to him on a plate here… …a plate, on a doily, on a tartan tray, with a selection of nice biscuits.