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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Just been confirmed on Look North.
  2. I stand corrected. I take it the goats fuck them, then? No mixed lodges?
  3. Nah, he was in a worse state than me. Thought he'd killed me. I did let him buy me a few beers later though.
  4. Had a few scrapes. I was abseiling down to a sea stack in Cornwall when the rope came away and I fell about 30ft. Landed spreadeagled, on a rock protruding from the sand. If I hadn't had a rucksack full of rope on, I reckon I'd probably be in a wheelchair now at best. As it was I was just winded to fuck. Got trapped between a rock face and two capsized Canadian Canoes at the side of a rapid once. I was sitting in an eddy, happy as Larry, when this knacker thought I was in trouble, and came piling down the rapid to " rescue" me. He hit me side on, capsized both of us and was washed away downstream, leaving me pinned by my legs between an undercut cliff and two rapidly filling canoes ( full of water, you're looking at a good 300kg each). The weight of water in the canoes, plus the force of the current, meant I was getting dragged down underwater and into the underwater cave I'd been happily sitting above 30 seconds earlier. I went under and thought , " You're fucked here mate unless you do something. " Dumped my buoyancy aid ( which was trying to pull me to the surface, as the boats were pulling me down) and managed to free my foot, which I then pushed like a bastard against the canoes until I managed to free my other leg. I shot back up to the surface and climbed to a ledge where I could recover. Barring a pair of skinned shins I was fine. According to my mates I was under for between 20-30 seconds, felt like a lot longer. The boats didn't come up for another 5 minutes. Lucky?
  5. German. She'll have a minge like tatty Velcro.
  6. No. I didn't get out in time.
  7. Certainly not a rich woman's club mind.
  8. I reckon it's Catmag. Oh, no, wait.
  9. Which Lodge you in then? Are you allowed to post on Toontastic at ceremony's?
  10. No politics, no religion, what on flat earth do you talk about at Lodge meetings? Other than sexy goats, naturally.
  11. That would be a religious discussion, which as you know Brother Leazes, is not allowed.
  12. By the power of Baphomet, I will find out!!!
  13. I'll take that as a yes. So, who's the other goat shagger then
  14. Totally off topic here Leazes, but are you in The Shakey Hand Club? Curious about your avatar? My Grandfather was a Steward and then Lodge master ( I think??) in Whitefriars lodge. You can PM me if you'd rather not answer on here
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