Monkeys Fist

Is that @PaddockLad’s middle niece again?

If figgy pudding is the same as Christmas pud, then aye, away to fuck with it. Sweet mince pies can get in the bin too.

Btw, by the time dinner got served, most of the family, by now young adult types, as well as the owld farts like me, were functionally paggered, so by the time I served up it was carnage- you love to see it

Not had a bad day at all- both Fistlets were well chuffed, and surprised, with their pressies , Mrs. F. the same, despite a distinct lack of Christmas kegs, I did alright. The annual family pig-out was slightly delayed on account of my oven being a fucking teenager and refusing to handle three trays of roasties at once, but we had plenty of diversionary comestibles to stop the the peasants revolting. Speaking of which, I got a shirt which is very similar to Fidel’s regular garb, so I’ve spent the day pretending to be a Central American Dictator- drove Mrs.F. wild, so naturally I ramped up the Castro crack as the day has gone on. The youth got a PS5 so I’ll be diving on that later and I feel it’s only right I play Just Cause 4 or 5 or whatever the fuck is the latest one. Just in case you hadn’t realised- aye- moderately befuddled.

I also woke up on the bathroom floor this morning…. Doctor said don’t mix grape and grain. Get well soon Wykiki, obvs 👍

How can we possibly tell without a comparison pic?

Have you gone on holiday by mistake?

No, but he’s got massive chebs.

If I found this whopper “stealth camping” on my premises, he’d be getting a golden wake-up, just for starters. (How the fuck do you stretch a video of some skank sleeping in a car wash to over an hour? )

I’ve got his OnlyFans, if that helps- absolute filth.

Has it got massive tits?

I know this reference

We have a little family tradition of giving each other a small gift on Christmas Eve. I got a universal remote control just now from the kids. This changes everything.

In the true spirit of Christmas, for one day only I’d like to declare a truce between the cultured, clean, standers of this fine board, and the filthy toilet spelunkers who dig in the dark. We can all appreciate this…

You could be living under a bridge this Christmas, but you’d still be having a better time than these basket cases.

Happy Christmas you lovely pack of wankers!

Forgot to say, Brexit loving resident of Monaco, Jim Ratcliffe. Lovely bloke.

Manure getting cash boost- https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/67815642 I assume none of his companies will be allowed to sponsor them, without howls of protest from everyone?

I’ve had dealing with plenty of mackems over the years tbh. I can honestly say, hand-on-heart, I fucking despise the inbred, racist, retarded, six-fingered cunts.

Nah, only reflections. Tbh, it really was shite. Not a single slighlty creepy animatronic figure in the entire thing. I blame Hamas.