Monkeys Fist

One of his flat mates left a spoon in the knife section. AGAIN!!!!

Also depends where they're from. If they're put away for a while, efforts are made to place them near their family…sometimes.

I had a bullet belt.

Might well be, a beacon of sartorial elegance as ever. Well spotted btw.

How, exactly, would you get over said moon, given man has never left the planet.

Remember the ones they did with coloured piping down the leg?

There is no worse insult from a mother

You're right, they were briefly. Geordie Jeans did a roaring trade in them.

So the adults took part too? Just remembered, you grew up in the back of beyond didn't you?

Did you include a google maps link to your nearest Waitrose?

Think we used to call it a Hoy Oot, I remember three lasses on our street all got married in the same summer. I was rich I tells thee, rich, RICH!!!!

T'aint what's on the outside that counts

Does anyone still do this ?

Just finished the Gallowgate banners, back at midnight to slap one on the Milburn.. … then sleeeeeeep!

The " hipster" security guy on the left If he chases you, stamp on his plimsolls then keg the useless twat.

I'll prepare it for him, not too runny, good cohesive texture, few cheeky corn kernels for surprise value.

Watched Part 2 of the Mesrine films tonight. Absolutely class.

Only if I get to wear your Nursey outfit Unwashed, naturally.

Olympic banners on SJP mate. Been a bit tricky with the wind… Should have them done by 8am Wednesday.

Slackbitch.

The place is overrun with Olympic bods , very little sign of NUFC staff anywhere. I'm not allowed inside the ground anyway. The security is mental, bombproof metal gates have been installed on Barrack Rosd and Strawberry Place, and all the car parks are ringed with shoulder height sandbags. Mental.

Sits on a leaf and waits til autumn. Probably because the fucking cherry picker didn't turn up.

How does an elephant get down from a tree?

Newcastle is where they fly from. ( Sunderland doesn't have it's own airport ) They all fly over my house, cheesy chip- free zone.