Monkeys Fist

My mate Johnny Five Fingers used to skin dogs just by looking at them. He's a changed man since he went blind though.

The good old days.

My dad was so hard he used to hammer in nails with his bell end.

Superessentialem Rectus Magnus

Must try harder Chubs .... must try harder.

Come on then, why?

It has to be said Stevie, you've got a simply fucking massive head. Does your car go up on two wheels when you turn left?

Neither him nor Pope Derek have had lady sex.

Nicking that.

Since Argentina refuses to use the correct name of the Falkland Islands, I'm going to call this one Pope Derek. Fuck you Argentina!

- Zappa on the Crapper! Pope Francis I of Argentina is the new guy btw. Benedict was 78 when he got Poped, resigned as he was too old to carry on. New guy is 76-way to learn from past mistakes Catholic Church.

Fag break

Do tell

Do you have a change machine at home?

Yay! Thank god for the Torys, where would we be without them.

Well, that was a remarkably pleasant experience for what it was. I had to wait until 1pm for surgery, which was a rare opportunity to catch up on some reading, was in for less than half hour , and I'm back home now. The staff at Hexham were absolutely top notch, extremely pleasant and did a superb job. The NHS, we'll miss it when it's gone. Sat at home now, feet up, looking with horror at the surgical stockings I've got to wear for the next 24hrs- remarkable how 1 small cloth item can make you feel like a pensioner. I might have "a nice cup of tea" and piss myself for the full effect. I'll say it again, the NHS staff are fantastic.

You tell me the intention Chubs, you're the Tory. The result will be a significant rise in homelessness and more debt for the poorest of our country. Will you be out there, manning the soup kitchen and handing out blankets to newly homeless, is that not how the Big Society works?

Should've used a sock.

It's mental. I'd love to hear the thinking behind it. The immediate effect on the social housing association Mrs. Fist works for is a huge drop in monthly income- where previously they received the housing benefit directly, they will get a double whammy of needing more staff to collect what was previously automated, but having a hugely reduced budget to pay them- mental. The social effects, which she's already seeing, make me shudder. One householder only, usually the father if present, will be paid the entire benefit lump sum. In the families Mrs. F. deals with, this means the pisshead/junkie father will have sole charge of an increased amount of beer/drug tokens, fuck the rent , fuck the gas/electric, fuck the council tax etc. "Fuck, we're homeless. " The malice behind this policy is so transparent and leaves me staggered.

Which period?

That was the project Brock, they had to read to camera from their favourite book whilst someone had at them under the table with a Black Mandingo with fresh batteries. Good Art!

Hexham General, so I'm expecting some straw chewing yokel who'll stare in wonder at the "only two eyes". Thanks for the good wishes chaps, but its really nothing serious. Looking forward to a few days of immobility, giving it Caesar from the sofa- "Wench, bring food and vittels!"

Knee gristle or knob gristle?

Cheers. Whilst they're attempting to tame the beast, they'll also be removing a golf ball sized lump from my knee. I reckon it's from where my helmet bangs against it.