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Posts
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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist
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Manchester United v Newcastle United
Monkeys Fist replied to Christmas Tree 's topic in Newcastle Forum
Reaction times like that will lose you your extra ball , Tommy. -
Manchester United v Newcastle United
Monkeys Fist replied to Christmas Tree 's topic in Newcastle Forum
He is too, mind, J68.5. -
Manchester United v Newcastle United
Monkeys Fist replied to Christmas Tree 's topic in Newcastle Forum
She prefers reverse cowgirl, if Beckham is to be believed. -
Manchester United v Newcastle United
Monkeys Fist replied to Christmas Tree 's topic in Newcastle Forum
You're an insult to real fickle fans tbh. -
Manchester United v Newcastle United
Monkeys Fist replied to Christmas Tree 's topic in Newcastle Forum
Burroughs- Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his ass to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I had ever heard. "This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell. "This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called "The Better 'Ole' that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, "Oh I say, are you still down there, old thing?' "'Nah! I had to go relieve myself.' "After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time. "Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in- curving hooks and start eating. He thought this was cute at first and built and act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: 'It's you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we don't need you around here any more. I can talk and eat AND shit.' -
+ Have that fucker
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He's small fry. Never played for Wales
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I got my schooling on Skid roe. That's all The End Fin.
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That's just how I roll(mop).
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There's something fishy about this post I thangew
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Sometimes I like to roll like a thief in the night.
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I edited it.
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Do you really care?
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And gals.
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You have my sword Brother.
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Can I shove things up their hoops?
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How tall are you and what weight are you, Sugartits?
Monkeys Fist replied to a topic in General Chat
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How tall are you and what weight are you, Sugartits?
Monkeys Fist replied to a topic in General Chat
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A harsh lesson in the perils of home performed strapadichtomy.
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Funnel web?
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The Tit calls Chez predictable. Oh irony, how I love thee
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And a sister called
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Were you though?