Monkeys Fist

In summary, CT calls Happy Face and JawD a pair of puffs, everyone else a cunt, then shits himself.

In keeping with the great tradition of sitcom domestic disasters at Christmas, got in from the mother in law's earlier to find we have a "power shower" in the kitchen- water pissing out of the light and ceiling. Fibre seal on the cistern pipe had gone in the bathroom/swimming pool whilst we were out. Changed it now and fixed the leak, just have to wait for the ceiling to dry out and see what damage has been done. Fuck my life

Aren't they just cabbages?

Didn't Adam Ant become a Mental a while back? Has turned back into a Normal now ?

Hostess Trolley- full of scran

The Millenium fucked NYE I reckon. Previously, NYE was a few pints in each of the local bars, finishing in The George where you'd see people you hadn't seen all year. Out at 11, to a house party. Now, even the shittiest dives are ticket only, and you gave to be in there before 8. Fuck that.

This has just had my two in stitches. Dick Van Dykes accent does it for me

Torys.

I tried to put it off til then. Failed. Miserably My simple , two word response to that has won me a stay of execution until Spring.

Mrs. Fist has found a particularly brutal "cure" to my ,albeit slight, hangover- taking down the tree and decorations. Don't let anyone tell you Evil Witches are make believe.

I drink therefore I ham.

It's all those shiny tops you wear

Surprised the "Gangsta" little cunt didn't pull a knife out. 4 more years.

All the best for 2013 to everyone. Edit; Oops! Forgot the boobs

It's a shocker. Speaking of which ....

Unless they are giving him food.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20871096 "Newcastle have agreed a deal to sign defender Mathieu Debuchy from Lille, according to the Press Association. The Magpies were linked with the French international right-back, 27, during the summer following his performances at Euro 2012. The fee is believed to be in the region of £5m and the move is set to be completed once the January transfer window opens. Newcastle signed midfielder Yohan Cabaye from Lille in June 2011. Debuchy played in all four of his country's games at Euro 2012 and has 13 senior caps. Danny Simpson, 25, currently plays at right-back for Newcastle, so Debuchy's signing could put his future on Tyneside in doubt as his contract expires in the summer and he has yet to agree a new deal."

I just put " Cold Dead hands of mobile rapist/serial killer" into Google images. Guess what was 1st hit

Could be anyone's. " I am a Tory lard freak" or they're not yours.

He'll be an hour or two scraping the mash out from behind his nails. Edit: just seen them. Cheat, they're your wife's!

Pics or GTFO