Monkeys Fist

I Siwa scraping the barrel for Egypt puns now…

Aswan punnist to another, that was terrible.

The fact that during the time of the Prince Bishops, sunderland was little more than a few pig sheds isn’t important here, Durham belongs to sunlin’.

Well, if Luxor anything to go by…

It’ll be collectors getting them in before he fucks off somewhere else. edit; wouldn’t surprise me if it also our polydactyl marrows, because fwends.

By “make a thing” do you mean historical fact, marrow?

I like driving up behind Speed Bumps and laying on the airhorn as I pull out to pass them. Always raises a giggle watching them freak out in the mirror.

Mag behaviour

Lee, when we said we needed to strengthen our defence, we did not mean you could spend £10,000 on a blanket fort for your office. Goodbye

“ I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go Lee, because, no, Netto Yellow Label is NOT the same as Tetleys.”

It’ll be a right fuck-on changing his nappy when he’s got this lot on.

This picture raises questions for me. Primarily, in fact, exclusively, “ Imagine the state of her back pipe”.

I wonder what Penfold is up to now? I hope he’s memorised which of his gaffers have two sugars and which have sweeteners by now.

Fyp.

I’m yet to see any evidence proving that Jordan and Katie Hopkins aren’t the same bloke.

She probably did- notice there’s no one sitting close to her.

That’s the ultimate aim of meditation- have precisely fuck-all on your mind.

Speaking of which, Mrs. F. has a mole on one of hers… … and there’s a photo of Mars’ moon Phobos passing over a Martian volcano.

His mam needs to get him some more play dates.

It appears you share, with Princess Kate/Catherine/Sugartits, the common affliction of sand in the vag.

Speak up

“ The Crown accepts the defendant is innocent on the grounds of Jaffa and Batty , however, there is a compensatory claim for damages outstanding. The driver of the minicab, a Mr. Chris. Mastree, has submitted a list of cleaning charges following the incident in question; Cleaning of batter ( fanny)- £50 Disposal of 40kg of empty pizza boxes ( duck flavour)- £50 Disposal of 14 (pairs) of soiled, XXXL Asda Menswear y-fronts. - £50 Disposal of 1 condom ( XXS) - £50 Loss of earnings and mental suffering - £5080. Mr. Mastree has offered to waive the financial penalties if defendant carries out 100hrs of unpaid service at North East Solo Metectors Club. What say you Mr. Gemmil?” ” Cash or cheque?”

TAXI!