Monkeys Fist

Call him Voyager 2. So far, the only probe to visit Uranus.

The ancient Magyar tribe’s name means “Sugar Eaters” in Magyarese. Probably.

Not just electoral, tbh.

If I never hear Local fucking Hero ever again it’ll be once too many. Having got that out the way, claiming Gosforth isn’t Geordie is Olympic Gold level mental gymnastics.

First they came for the earwax removal services, and I did nothing because I have a big fuck-off syringe. Then they came for the smeg removal services…

I heard when they opened him up he had no heart at all. No no, no heart at all.

Full face?

How do we know he’s actually dead and not just miming?

I mean, if they don’t paint the bar in our colours can you really call it “away friendly”?

So Tough was a winter season soundtrack album - fantastic.

If he’s a fairly shy, reserved type, tell him to look at the positives- a little bit of notoriety is an opportunity to expand his social circle.

When you call him under no circumstances, must you think of that scene from Ace Ventura pet detective?

Tell him he’ll be the butt of some jokes as nobody had him pegged as being in to that kind of thing. Then tell him he’s got to own it- send an email to all involved apologising and saying next year he’ll make sure to do his Mother’s Day shopping privately.

For years Peters thought he was a leading light in interracial relations singing with his black partner.

NUFC has links to Durham. We should send a team of juniors and show them what a real club friendly is, and also paste every other fucker there

Actual runny shite.

Who’s this cunt?

Just tell her that male monogamy is what the Illuminati want, then get stuck in to her sisters.

Just seen this. Hell of a voice.

What’s your biggest ever lump of smeg, then?

And we all know how unlikely they are to change any time soon. Fucking great isn’t it?