Monkeys Fist

Would we all be minions to the Cracking Empire of the Terrible Lizards, picking things up for T-Rex and making Hadrosaur pizza?

And Salma on the checkouts at Sainsburys

Shola. Every month. For eternity.

I must confess, it's less out of concern for your fiscal health and consumer happiness, and more from the desire to avoid having to hear you whine like bitch.

Be sure to let us know when you do, I'd hate for you to make a bad purchase.

Uh-oh, Wolfy alert !

Would never happen under Hitler

Hamsters taste fucking vile- resistance for me.

Didn't the Nazis execute "mental defectives"?

Did your mother's family come to UK to escape the Nazis, or have they been here longer than that?

Did they at least let you keep your pullover??

That's another bonus, the Mrs. does the whipping on Christmas night.

Are you a bacon shirker then? Anyone else remember The Jewish Mother pub, or am I being an old git?

I have to agree, my favourite aspects pf Christmas now are watching my nippers open their gifts in the morning, especially when they come running over to show you what Santa brought, and the serving and eating of dinner, with the post meal conversation/drinks a highlight.

If anyone can come up with a universal toy packaging removal tool, to get through the insane amounts of cable ties, screws, wires etc etc that'll I'll be spending my Christmas morning removing so that my kids can play with the toy for 2 minutes before breaking/dumping/realising its shit, that would be great. I'll have one please.

On the bright side, we'd never have had to endure Thatcher.

Keine Bücher bitte, wir sind Britische

You'd never have tasted a kebab in your life.

Think of ground pepper.

Send this link to your family http://m.asda-gifts.co.uk/Christmas-BN-s4.aspx?cm_re=Category_Link_-Christmas-_-0 Give 'em some ideas

Luxury edible items.