Monkeys Fist

Present?

Get the missus to do it when she's finished the ironing - voila!

Kebab

No trains?

"Vegetables can actually be really delicious." Is where I stopped reading.

To be fair to CT, I use my micro to steam veg quite often. However, green beans - 4-5 mins, mangetout/sugar snaps- 3-4 mins , broccoli 5 mins. I don't think I've ever programmed it to run more than 10 minutes, never mind Hal an hour

In an age of talentless celebrity, one of the greats has passed away http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25426914 BBC nailing it in two words

Yes indeed! I've crossed everything I'm capable of crossing.

" That's a lovely plate of mutt"

So you cooked fresh veg for over half an hour then? Even worse tbh. And no, any self respecting chef doesn't use gravy granules. I'm with Ant.

I'm just amazed you aren't jizzing over the artful way that carrot has been cooked.

Cooking frozen mixed veg for over 30 minutes? Gravy granules? Get to fuck man

I offered to tell him, but he just started talking about his man-eggs, so fuck it...... His loss.

Edited

Happy Birthday you Big Breasted Bumpkin!

This??

When did christmas presents for teachers become a thing, too?

Aye.

You've got the massive tit part down to a tee.