Monkeys Fist

I just thought you were talking out your arse Giddup!

Blonde moment?

It'll be the dead guinea pig he has on his head.

Longevity is no guarantee of quality

My local shops have a Greggs, a sandwich shop, and a Sainsburys, and the little independent bakery which has been there for years still knocks out the best mince pies I've ever had.

Pics tomorrow of Mrs. CT's net curtains stretched across the "AstroTurf" in the garden, half a ton of strawberries and cream, and CT unconscious in the middle, pissed to fuck on Pimms and dressed in his new Tennis kit.

"Kicked her in the Simon!"

I heard he never shoots in the box I thangew

Joe says " Neva fackin erd of im, next!"

Know how to pronounce Quinoa.

I thought he was announcing his divorce!

When CT reads something on a touchscreen, does he inadvertently highlight the whole thing?

A new word has been accepted into the German dictionary. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23142660 @@Meenzer

It is isn't it.

It's about time

Manners! It's "tits oot" first, then you ask about the uniform.

My reading of this is that he's shitting himself. Why else would he feel the desperate need to tell all and sundry how fucking over qualified he is for the job? I reckon he agreed to take it when he was full of piss, he's sobered up briefly, realised what he's done, and is now soiling himself. The above scenario is the least horrific to contemplate, because otherwise it means he really thinks he's the best man for the job None of which addresses the utter buffoonery of the tit who offered him the gig in the first place.

Scoops? Turnip or poncey carrot mash ?

CT's so lazy he's even given up trying at the wummery.

That'll be his troughing tray.