Monkeys Fist

Congratulations Chez When's it due?

Someone told JFK to get a marquee signing, he turned up with this

Since the demise of Leazes, someone needs to keep the Leftwing Fannies in check

Never mind all that- I was going to watch Big Stan tonight, is it any good, or should I not bother?

Saw something that was pure comedy today- at about 10am I was halfway down a building on Gallowgate when I heard it kicking off on the street below. Two old chavs , probably mid 40s , pissed as rats and battling. Only thing is, one's in a mobility scooter, wearing a hi viz tshirt and pork pie "ska" hat . aye The one on his feet launched a few wild slaps which completely failed to connect , ran/staggered off down the street, to be pursued by the drunk driver in the spaz chariot. He , more through luck , managed to knock the bloke over, and when the bloke pulled himself back to his feet , Joey Deacon launched into him with some punches so bad they made Di Canio's shot last night look accurate. One of them , however, connected and laid the bloke out, whereupon the Wheeled Destroyer u-turns on the path and weaves off towards Eldon Square, zig zagging like mad. The defeated pisshead lay groaning theatrically for a minute, then, when he realised no one was going to help him, he spent two minutes comically attempting to get to his feet, and eventually staggered off in the other direction. There was about 10 office workers having a fag over the road who also witnessed it, and at the end they were doubled over in fits of laughter. Mental.

He's on verbal laxatives

I think he called your pint a puff. (This is how I imagine Fish when someone brings him a coffee at work, IN THE WRONG MUG!!!)

No I haven't.

Chill oot man Tubs. There there there.

Yes, make her do both of those things.... .….simtaneously.

Looks a bit grubby, I'll bet he didn't shower before he started his shift.

Aye aye, that as well ....... ...... So , PICS!.

Beige, full of tits.

Pics or GTFO

CT furious the lass behind has got better crisps than him.

£32 for four drinks? I hope you got a hand shandy for that price.