Monkeys Fist

It's possibly that they are using older swedes, which will be more darkly coloured and richer in flavour.

Cook it as you would at home, but in chicken stock. Then leave it on the shelf for a couple of days until it's a bit darker. Serve just the right side of rank.

Fishermen are kernts- I get all my fish from the chippy

Have you written to John Craven? He kept me up to date with the Cod Wars as they happened.

That chimp is made of bits of Jupiter or something.

I will be tomorrow

It was, until Mrs. JawD washed it.

You'll have to lose the Yorkshire accent first.

Fucking Hippy.

Repeat after me - " Would you like fries with that?"

At what point in the " my flesh is falling off" process do you reckon they think "might need to stop"?

Cash mate.

Try the microwave

Failing that, sauté gently until just browned, then pop it under the grill for 5 minutes.

Find myself a tractor, go touring, take some landscape shots

Aye, that and GTA5

It was a fairly straightforward heart attack - caused by a blocked artery. They put a stent in, and it's now pills for life and a few tweaks to the diet. Had a family history of heart disease, so it wasn't as big a shock to me as it was to a lot of my pals. I'm off the ropes for 7 weeks ( at least), whilst I build up strength again, but they reckon there's no reason I shouldn't get back to full fitness. I'm taking it as a kick up the arse, and heeding it.

Excellent , cheers you tungsten hearted beauty

Please provide CT standard instructions. Ta.

5ft9