Monkeys Fist

I have no shame

Ah, just seen police statement on BBC, they are "aware of a number of casualties".

Someone brought the house down? Too soon?

Hello Pot, meet Kettle

Have a drink you whiny bint.

He doesn't know where that is - be a good lad and show him, run along now.

I'd struggle to think of a more passive/aggressive way to say "fuck you" than buying them a Segway.

Leaves a funny smell in the microwave, taints the eggs

Cracks me up how CT plays the wum all over the board, but expects to be taken seriously here.

Bless

That rabbit video is pretty disturbing.

Fights urge to post Derek shitting himself vid... .... No... Mustn't post it .... .. Ah, fuck it

I've tried for years to explain the difference in importance between them to Mrs. F. I think you've just hit pay dirt

Dry or lubed?

Since you put it like that ......

Uncannily accurate I'd imagine.

She's an excellent cook tbh, I always dive in the kitchen and play sous chef , and, over the years, I've managed to sneak in little things like pancetta in with the sprouts, honey roast carrots etc so that Christmas Dinner is now a thing of beauty There's also a shitload of booze gets done in, in the most genteel, relentless way possible

Aye, a cup-a-soup poured over a plate of pasta, with a bag of mixed fucking veg hoyed at it

He's fucking desperate isn't he?

Brill How very 80s.

Tutu keeps his eyes shut.

*They're