Monkeys Fist

I’d avoid talking about cracks, Ibby.

Since Albert is recycling old posts, I’ll also do my bit for the digital environment.

I think you missed some details while you were no doubt pulling the neck off it. Eddie Howe on Harvey Barnes: "Harvey will be missing for a period of time. We don't think it's a serious injury but it's enough to keep him out for a few weeks, we're probably looking at around a month. That's the early assessment. It's an injury to the muscle in his thigh."

What the fuck is he getting at in the bit after the highlights? The only possible sensible conclusion I can think of is that he’s pointing out how unlikely it is we’ll have crowds as low as 40,000 in the foreseeable future. Is that player mentioned one of the two future England captains I should be jealous of? It’s just that I’ve honestly never heard of him.

How’s that a problem, it’s their modus operandi.

Wrong ex-player, mate.

All the other blokes had the chance to back out but they just couldn’t resistor.

When they asked him if he would say whether or not he’d drugged his wife… … he refused. @Gemmill, are you sitting comfortably, we’ve begun.

Did a bulletin board fall on top of him?

Good bloke, loved the meek and that, not as good as Gordon though.

I think Gordon is in with a very good shout too though, wouldn’t you say?

Paul Mitchell as his avatar Desperate.

Cheers Alex appreciate that.

Harsh tbh. It’s a 7:30pm ko. He’ll spend at least 80 of the 90 minutes on waddling to and from the bogs, queuing for it, trying to find “it”, then pissing all over himself, after over-doing the Erdinger’s and staring at some young barmaids tits pre-match.

Given my recent experiences in Wolverhampton, I’ll be surprised if these cunts manage to find their way to our ground. So, in a break from tradition, I’m going to say 5-0 to us. Fucking Yam Yam twats.

Just woke up. Sounds like a decent performance. Onwards we go. Away to Brum shouldn’t give us too many problems. Villa v Tottenham Manure v Leicester Brighton v Chelsea. All potential to dump our competition out. 👍

Top reply “ You can hear the lad clapping back”

Cheers Sammy, will give them a try next time out.

He must be setting the after-dinner circuit alight. “ Welcome to An Evening with Michael Owen ( in partnership with Burton Menswear and The National Insomnia Society). Spend a fascinating night with England’s Michael Owen as he shares tales of his time spent in world football, the places he stayed in hotels, and the friend he made. Hear behind-the-scenes tales from the dressing room, such as Michael’s still standing record as Liverpool’s hide and seek champion, where he stayed undiscovered in a cupboard for 6 hours as his team mates “searched” for him… Share Michael’s delight as he recounts the evenings he spent with England roommate Gareth Southgate comparing their hotel napkin collections. If you’re still awake, a delicious buffet is on offer at the interval, specially chosen by Michael himself. Option 1 -£ 10:00 Sandwich (cheese). Crisps (plain). Water. Option 2 -£15:00 As above but with Michael’s special accoutrements- Salt, Pepper, Butter. Option 3-£20:00 As Option 2, with Ketchup. There will be a competition during the interval where you can relive Michael’s childhood and attempt to throw your apple core in the bins** It’s a thrilling night of insight in to the life of one of the greats, but don’t take our word for it, see the reviews from past participants. “ “ Best sleep I’ve had in years” - Dave from Bolton ” He has the same jumper that we buried Dad in, which is nice” - Mrs B. from Essex “ Are you the bloke doing the refunds?” - Dave from Oldham ** no prizes , it’s just for fun!

Mate of mine was on the Weardale Mountain Rescue team when it happened, they helped with the recovery of wreckage from Kielder Forest. Not just wreckage either, lots of luggage and personal items, “bits” , and a lad with him found a shoe with the foot still in it. Grim.

Is that the bit about Babs Windsor being a sex symbol, aye?

How fucking long does it take him to put a pair of shorts on like?