Monkeys Fist

Also, any pics of your lass' wrecked bush would cheer me up no end.

Aye, I was a bit fucked off for a minute, but I apologised to the bloke for being stroppy. Like you said, he made a mistake and probably felt lithe a right tit anyway

" Hey Mrs. CT, have you got a slow cooker, they're great?" " Aye, but he puts cherry tomatoes on everything"

Aye- healthy eating. "Fuck breadcrumbs , we'll use processesd fake potato."

Smash? You're eating chicken dipped in mash? Slimming?

Him/his insurance, aye. I was initially a tad stroppy, then realised I was being a twunt. I'll plough through the paperwork tomorrow, can't be arsed tonight.

Haven't you got one of those?

You're all freaks, tbh.

Vote. It's piss easy, and if you don't, you fuck off whining at politicians. Simplistic, but that's what it boils down to. Edit: that's not directed at Roboyogi, but a general statement.

I've just been in the slowest crash of my life Some divvy rear-ended me at about 1mph whilst I was sitting in stationary in traffic, and still managed to leave a dent in the bodywork. Ffs. I'm handing the thing back in a couple of weeks too.

No need for that , I was only saying.

It's Cuddles I feel sorry for- nobody's even mentioned the poor fucker.

Wasn't the comedy one either.

Just saying.

Out for a duck?

To reach Base Camp, it must've been one almighty avalanche.

Oh good, because "The Club" always tells the truth.

More familiar in a cap?

Still manages to fuck up her name.

Here you go lads, proper hairy cunt.

Hairy matter

Shaddap you face

Footage of the avalanche hitting Base camp has emerged. So far, there's 17 confirmed dead, many more missing, and a large number of serious injuries, from blast impact, impalements and crushing. The route down from Everest to Base camp, known as the Icefall and one of the most unstable sections at the best of times, has been destroyed, with Sherpas reporting that they can hear voices of people trapped there, but are unable to reach them. Many more climbers are stranded on the mountain itself, unable to descend past the Icefall. This will be the worst fatal event to hit Everest since people began climbing it, and the fatalities will increase as time goes on. The destruction in the rest of Nepal means the normal emergency evacuation resources will be severely depleted, if available at all. Footage and and article below. http://www.jonkeverest.org/blog/2015/04/26/Everest-Earthquake-Avalanche-Aftermath-Photos.aspx Video- (gets a bit sweary)

Sunderland Council- Don't Fuck Your Kids level 1.

Mrs. F. has to deal with this on an almost day-to-day basis in her job. ( She's a housing support officer in Smallville). One of the worst cases involved a family, the grandfather of which was abusing the granddaughters, who were also being abused by their uncles. The uncle/niece abuse took place on a quid pro quo basis, apparently because " you don't touch your own kids, man!", so they swapped with their brothers. Fucking unbelievable. Edit: of the many cases she's dealt with, well over 90% of the abuse was not "stranger danger" but family members.