Monkeys Fist

Whale sandwich, anyone?

This really ought to be projected on to the front of the Gallowgate end in huge letters. ( below a S***** D***** logo, naturally)

How's the weather in Pallion?

It would be absolutely typical of the fuck ups in charge for a problem to occur and find themselves stuck with Pardew. They'd have to put him on "Wife-shagging Leave".

He'll be out on the Pish now.

Which poster could start an argument in an empty house?

For now. It'll start slowly- you'll come home and find them listening to Wham in the garden, then they'll start worrying about their weight, you'll notice more flounces.....

You've already hinted at his Japsy leaking, now you add that brain screamer? Fucks sake man

Kinky bitch

" And while you were asleep, we cut your balls off. Never mind, here's some tea and toast" They hanged Irma Grese for less

This is the only sensible approach to this whole pantomime.

For some reason, "Sausages" in particular has made me spit my celebratory whisky out.

Kathy Secker had a weird gob- when she spoke it was like a badly dubbed Chinese movie.

I'll be composing letters of condolence to Crystal Palace fans. I feel it's the least I can do.

Whoever replaces him, I doubt very much that they'll demolish as many records as this cunt did. Fanx Alan.

We could end up with Di Canio and I still wouldn't remember the useless cunt fondly.

That's just bad manners. From the journo, obviously

Btw, what's the inside knowledge from the Regional Journalist Of The Year 2014?

The Cook and Barker is 10 minutes south of Alnwick, on the A1. Good food, rooms etc. http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g1009320-d1736809-Reviews-The_Cook_Barker_Inn-Newton_on_the_Moor_Northumberland_England.html

Mick Channon. Fucked off before the ink was dry on his contract

All the best, folks. Aside from the, now-standard, ridiculous amount of driving bags of shite from one location to another today, tomorrow is an easy one as it's Mother In Laws' turn to cook.

The idea of it got him so pissed off he went and had another crate.

It was a Golden Age of Tits, tbh.

Agree to it, Parky, on condition that Mrs. P. has them made into earrings which she must wear once a week. Seems a fair deal.