Monkeys Fist

Watched the classic ‘96 Manure 5-0 in the Archer. When Albert chipped Schmeicel one of my mates jumped up, fist in the air, which went straight through the ceiling. The gaffer never got it fixed and it was named Albert’s Hole in his honour.

Have you ever considered working for the Diplomacy Service?

It’s bad news for Basic Mick if it’s his turn to wear the family trainers, aye.

It’d be nice if yet another one of our players , Karius, got “Howed” and became a fucking world beater.

As if a mackem could afford sambas.

Time to do your duty @Isegrim Concoct some heinous charges against him until nobody wants him, including his club, we swoop in , then you can dismiss the charges as “without a shred of evidence “. Cheers.

They raffle that seat each game as the Annual Bath Lottery.

I suppose, aye. It’s one of the great things about the FA cup, mind, that being drawn against one of the big boys can help out these little struggling teams with things like ground rent, lift repairs and whatever.

I didn’t think they’d want our tainted blood money?

No surprise there mind- You ever tried shouting when you’re having a shit?

Did you shove them down the back of your designated driver’s wheelchair?

Team sausage, then Team Pissybed, then Team Sausage, all in one sentence. Which team thread is this again?

So Gloomys kids, what were your Dads last words? Well…err…

You can be as silver-tongued as you like, he’s not going to give it to you

Terrible thing amputation- you’re an inspiration to the rest of us one-handed browsers.

Don’t underestimate the influence of the Sholinator.

So Feyenoord, the mackems best forrin marras, have got two Mags playing for them… how many mackems are in their squad?

As someone said, Howe never tells the truth about injuries- why would he give his oppo the advantage?

Any luck yet ?

Looks nowt like me, cheeky mare!

Guaranteed the lad had his tongue sticking out as he was drawing it.

Since it’s been Christmas for the last two months, time to roll out a festive classic… David Bowie bumps in to Bing Crosby in heaven, and suggests they sing Little Drummer Boy for the angels and shit. Bing says ” I’d love to David, but I’m having trouble with my inflatable arsehole I had fitted just before I died” Bowie says ” No worries Bing I’ve got just the thing!” BC - “ A rubber bum pump?” DB - “ A rubber bum pump!” Both- “ A rubber bum pump”. Thank you and get fucked.

Main course, or main course and dessert?