Monkeys Fist

The clip below introduces some of the short listed candidates for the one-way trip to Mars. The first two facts we learn about our very own Ryan are that he can recite Pi to 90 digits, and ....... Well, skip to about 1:40 to hear the 2nd

I might have to grow my hair again. Hair, singular, btw.

Gemmill! What kind of shit are you sending me??

It was until this fuck knuckle started playing

To borrow from a certain film, Joey Barton is a cunt. He's a cunt now, and he's always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that he's going to be an even bigger cunt.

Someone told him Carver is in charge.

One of my Aunts was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It's bloody awful seeing the confusion on her as she tries to piece together stuff that she knows she should know, but can't remember.

No laughing!

This makes my eyes sting

Aye, I saw that. I want to watch the next one, about Argentine beef, but it's got John Torode in, who reminds me of a human frog.

Can I have that £500 I loaned you back, Stevie.

Said whilst he "comforted" himself through his trouser pocket?

It was a good deal when you take inflation in to account.

That's Uncle Nobheed, thanks.

Aye, but you follow your heart, not your heed. I'll get me coat.

When he does play, it'll be like a breath of fresh air.

Useless puff.

That's what they want you to believe.

Considered fucking you off? Ongoing.

Have you considered fucking back off?

Nah