Monkeys Fist

Take the hoverboard mate- that blonde from HR that you've had your eye on will be on her back within minutes.

Well, that's me convinced. Also, Hitler survived the war and opened the first Seaworld. Proof....

"Closet"

What is?

Just discovered, via Spotify, the Aussie instrumental three piece, Dirty Three. Violin player is from The Bad Seeds and Grinderman.

Try to avoid the use of terms like "sweaties"and "porridge wogs" and you'll be sound. You might also find THIS site handy after the 10 or 12th pint down the Grassmarket. (Most branches of Boots sell baby wipes for the inevitable trouser-soiling aftermath).

This one made me snort

Sexy bitch.....

Sure I spotted G-Man in there

Yes. You massive lads fan.

You forced the poor lass to do your hoovering, whilst having to watch you get piped off by "Rose"Roomba as you were dressed up as Graeme Souness?

G Man- " Yes, it is in."

If anyone's spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/drunken uber victim holds up the mistletoe and puts on "Nativity", do yourselves a favour- punch them squarely in the face. I find Marc Wooton physically painful to look at, never mind listen to.

" Eeah marra, A reckon a've fouwind the original lad's fan"

South of the river, near the old Vaux brewery.

the mask's have dropped- animals.

That's a Yes, then

Are the Windows still there, then, Tubs? (Clue; No ) Not like you to be pedantic and wrong